 Re: Marriage is becoming unstable
Your wife appears to be insecure and emotionally reactive. If you're behavior has demonstrated no reason to mistrust you then she's likely carrying old wounds around trust.
You both are being impacted by this - and if she doesn't do something to work on some of it, she's hurting herself, you and the marriage. I have seen couples divorce over one lacking trust at the level of intensity at which you describe - an example of why this really needs to be addressed.
My concern for you is that no matter what you do to appease her it won't work for the long haul - until the underlying issues are explored. Perhaps you can suggest marriage counseling; not in a blaming way but in a manner that suggests you as a couple can benefit from a neutral third party to help you out so that your marriage is stronger.
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