Re: New here, and feeling hopeless
I don't think you can avoid the pain, but it does start to get better with some time.
One very common thing that an unhappy spouse will do is to revise history. So, when he says that he's felt like a paycheck, do you think this has been true or is he just saying this to justify getting away from you?
If he's revising history (making excuses), you've only had sex once in the last year, and he was gone most of the time before he left - do you think he's already seeing someone else?
Another ugly, but realistic possibility is that he might not be able to deal with your health problems and depression.
If you don't think he's cheating, and you really want him back, put yourself in his shoes. If you appear clingy and needy and depressed, he's not going to be dying to come back. But if you can at least fake it a bit and try to remind him why he married you to begin with - greet him with a warm smile - he's more likely to come back around.