| | Re: i cheated on my wife.
I agree with Susan on this one. First off, "not playing the field enough" prior to marriage is not a reason to cheat on your wife. That is an excuse. Having said that, I can understand feelings of insecurities at becoming a husband and father. It is a scary time. It's growing up time. Suddenly somebody else has to become more important than you.....your spouse and your child. You didn't mention your age but I am guessing you are young? I really agree with Susan about counseling. You are new to marriage and things are supposed to be fairly simple at this point. People get married every day and babies are conceived and born all the time. Stressful, yes. Worthy of running away and cheating for validation, no. I think counseling would help you tremendously. If you run away now when times seem pretty good, what happens to your inner voice when times are REALLY tough. Job loss, child in hospital, perhaps loss of a home, death in the family, illness with your wife. What then? You need to do the hard work and figure out why you run away from situations that make you feel scared and not measuring up.
And Susan is totally correct with the anchor analogy. It is an anchor around her neck. She will be weighted down by it until you do the necessary things to lessen the weight. Saying I love you isn't it. It is holding her when she is crying, proving to her through total transparency will cell phones, internet, etc. that you are no longer cheating. It is about being accountable at all times. The anchor will never fully go away but in time the load it carries can be very little if you do the hard work that is necessary for the situation you put your marriage in.
Best of luck to you. You really sound sincere.