Talk About Marriage - View Single Post

jeffreygropp · 06-09-2010, 11:26 AM

When I married my wife, I was a hardcore atheist. She is a Christian. After years of religious debates and me being a typical cynical atheist, she started to question her religion.

It caused MAJOR issues with her mother that I was not Christian and it was hard for awhile. We almost split over it. Then recently I discovered Buddhism and realized I was never an atheist or agnostic, I was clearly Buddhist. Since soul searching heavily I realized it doesn't matter what anyone else believes, we should all love each other and live in harmony and at peace. It REALLY makes sense to me.

With this new found knowledge, I have not had an issue with religion in a long time.

With your situation since becoming Catholic means nothing, a "convert" will mean nothing. You won't LOVE the religion and beliefs like he does which will cause just as many issues down the road. Sure his clearly backwards family will be appeased for the moment, but if he relies on their approval on THIS issue, what else can they tell him to do or not to do regarding your marriage?

It may be a problem for HIM, but the reality is this is a bigger problem for you. I'd explain the situation to him and his family. If they can't love and accept you for who you are, they aren't good Catholics anyway, since they should accept you regardless.

Religion can kill relationships if the people involved are closed minded. If you are open to the world and accepting, it just doesn't matter.

Though one thing that always threw a wrench in the cog for my wife and I was that she was told that her "Heaven" was basically whatever she loved and wanted in life. It was a special place of absolute perfectness. HOWEVER because I am not Christian I would not be there. She said I am the single most important part of that world. I have often suggested that any true God would accept me regardless, as she is a good person and a good Christian. But the truth is according to the Bible and pastors and priests, that doesn't happen. So the fundamental core of the entire system is whacky and she's been shaky on it for years.

06-09-2010, 11:26 AM	#4 (permalink)
jeffreygropp Member Join Date: Jun 2010 Posts: 73	Re: Religion getting in the way of marriage When I married my wife, I was a hardcore atheist. She is a Christian. After years of religious debates and me being a typical cynical atheist, she started to question her religion. It caused MAJOR issues with her mother that I was not Christian and it was hard for awhile. We almost split over it. Then recently I discovered Buddhism and realized I was never an atheist or agnostic, I was clearly Buddhist. Since soul searching heavily I realized it doesn't matter what anyone else believes, we should all love each other and live in harmony and at peace. It REALLY makes sense to me. With this new found knowledge, I have not had an issue with religion in a long time. With your situation since becoming Catholic means nothing, a "convert" will mean nothing. You won't LOVE the religion and beliefs like he does which will cause just as many issues down the road. Sure his clearly backwards family will be appeased for the moment, but if he relies on their approval on THIS issue, what else can they tell him to do or not to do regarding your marriage? It may be a problem for HIM, but the reality is this is a bigger problem for you. I'd explain the situation to him and his family. If they can't love and accept you for who you are, they aren't good Catholics anyway, since they should accept you regardless. Religion can kill relationships if the people involved are closed minded. If you are open to the world and accepting, it just doesn't matter. Though one thing that always threw a wrench in the cog for my wife and I was that she was told that her "Heaven" was basically whatever she loved and wanted in life. It was a special place of absolute perfectness. HOWEVER because I am not Christian I would not be there. She said I am the single most important part of that world. I have often suggested that any true God would accept me regardless, as she is a good person and a good Christian. But the truth is according to the Bible and pastors and priests, that doesn't happen. So the fundamental core of the entire system is whacky and she's been shaky on it for years.