Linda

I understand your problem I'm going through the same thing too, only it is a little bit of both of us are detaching. As a women, I find myself uninterested in my husband because he has not been there for me. Marriage is a give and take, if one person feels they are doing all the giving and the other is doing the taking they begin to shut down. If your wife is person that keeps to herself, don't expect her to be verbal about what is bothering her. But make no mistake, something is bothering her. Have you asked her, I think if you stress the severity of the break down of your marriage and tell her you want to work on it (if you still do that is) she should be receptive. If she is not, well either way I guess you have an answer. One more thing, your relationship with this other women is dangerous. In most women's eyes an emotional affair is worse than a sexual one. I'm willing to bet your wife knows whats going on and this may be part of the problem of her ignoring you. If you truely unhappy and do not want to salvage the marriage do the right thing and tell her, don't lie or live with the status quo because no one wins in this situation.