cmf thank you
but honestly the ONLY reason I am is because of this forum and I almost feel silly saying this but if I wouldn't of found this place I would be acting a lot different and really screwing myself.
Don't get me wrong I am very emotional but I am forcing myself to think of things and I am being a lot more rational/clear now. Like an example today was I called him today several times in midst of the conversation this morning. So I did something sort of drastic by deleting his number so I couldn't but I wont be able to just 'call' I did start to get emotional tonight and took a mental step back before it was noticeable. I fully realize now I am dealing with someone who is very irrational right now and I have to be the one with the clear head.