I think what makes the hardest is I am seriously alone where we live
all my friends and family is several states away. I talk to them online a lot but it is not the same. I started being a SAHM a few years ago and wouldn't change it but also pretty much diminished my social life. The people I do know are his friends and that is not happening.
I asked him after this happen to be able to go back home for awhile with the kids and he freaked out and pretty much told me there was NO way he was allowing the kids to leave. I think he was scared I wouldn't come back
He also didn't want to be away from them. He is very very active in their lives and still sees them pretty much everyday.