Abusive? to marry under false pretences? Deceptive/deceitful yes. Abusive? Not in the modern understanding of the word. To be less than keen on - and therefore avoid (or reject, which sometimes gets used even when a less obvious swerve is in play) sex with a partner whose sometime behaviour makes you feel uneasy or uncomfortable, or less of a person.... how can that be abuse? No-one's really answered that for me. I suppose there must be instances in which someone has 'pretended' to be attracted before marriage then altered their stance. Quite honestly, who of us will ever know? Lies damned lies and statistics and all that.
As to kindness patience, unconditional love, etc (quote!) being the guarantee that a woman/wife will lose her desire for you? Poppy****!
Yet somehow I agree that children's entitlement to unconditional love is different.