It's been several months since I've been on the forum. Some on here may recognize me. My marital issues started to escalate back in September when my husband moved from our room to the guest room. Fast forward to December and I discover he'd had an affair. Right after Christmas I moved back home with my daughter because I had no where else to go, so we are separated, emotionally and psychically by 600 miles. I didn't want to leave, I told him I wanted to stay and work it out, he said he needed time and space to think so I left with our daughter and went back home to the northwest.
He's visited roughly once a month since I've been here. It's been five months since I left. Now it's gotten to the point where he doesn't speak to me at all unless it's to find out what time he can call our daughter. I don't want a divorce and I've told him so. He said he doesn't see any other solution, but we have not done everything possible to try and save our marriage. I can't move on, either with him or without him, without knowing we tried everything possible to fix this. I'm still in love with him. He says he loves me but isn't in love. I don't feel this is true, or if it is, that it isn't a permanent thing. I feel that he isn't in love with me all the time. That's understandable because I feel that way too sometimes. But I AM in love with him and I want to make our marriage work.
I had recently discovered he'd been inappropriate with numerous friends of mine, not sexually mind you, but just inappropriate for someone who's in a relationship. This had evidently been going on for about 11 of our 12 year relationship (married for almost 9 years now). He admitted to his family he ****ed up big time and doesn't think he can fix it. He tells them that but tells me he doesn't see any other way to fix this except with divorce but he's been threatening that with me for over a year! If he wanted a divorce he'd have filed by now and been done with it.
I don't want a divorce and I wont' file. Our daughter is heartbroken. I asked her if she ever had to choose who she'd want to live with between myself and her dad she said both. There was no hesitation whatsoever.
Any advice is appreciated. No rude or nasty comments please.
He's visited roughly once a month since I've been here. It's been five months since I left. Now it's gotten to the point where he doesn't speak to me at all unless it's to find out what time he can call our daughter. I don't want a divorce and I've told him so. He said he doesn't see any other solution, but we have not done everything possible to try and save our marriage. I can't move on, either with him or without him, without knowing we tried everything possible to fix this. I'm still in love with him. He says he loves me but isn't in love. I don't feel this is true, or if it is, that it isn't a permanent thing. I feel that he isn't in love with me all the time. That's understandable because I feel that way too sometimes. But I AM in love with him and I want to make our marriage work.
I had recently discovered he'd been inappropriate with numerous friends of mine, not sexually mind you, but just inappropriate for someone who's in a relationship. This had evidently been going on for about 11 of our 12 year relationship (married for almost 9 years now). He admitted to his family he ****ed up big time and doesn't think he can fix it. He tells them that but tells me he doesn't see any other way to fix this except with divorce but he's been threatening that with me for over a year! If he wanted a divorce he'd have filed by now and been done with it.
I don't want a divorce and I wont' file. Our daughter is heartbroken. I asked her if she ever had to choose who she'd want to live with between myself and her dad she said both. There was no hesitation whatsoever.
Any advice is appreciated. No rude or nasty comments please.