My stepson is a horrible person and I hate his guts. It is awful to feel this way about a child, but there it is. He is 15, soon to be 16, and the size of an NFL linebacker. He uses his size to intimidate and bully others, always has. I have been in his life since he turned 13. I had a good relationship with him until this spring when I argued for him to be psychicatrically hospitalized due to acting out behaviors. His sibling called my W and me begging for our help because idiot stepson was beating up their father. We did the only thing we could do living apart from them, we called the police. As a result he was hospitalized.
He blames others for his actions, will not take any accountability. I am now the devil along with my W who has been the devil for years in his eyes. He hasn't spoken to me since April. He cannot accept any responsibility or accountability for his actions, which include strangling his mother (my W), beating up his father and terrifying his brother to the point where he barricaded his room with every piece of furniture he could find in order to prevent this piece of crap teenager from barging in and wreaking havoc.
My W and her ex made excuses for him in his younger years as he has his good points as well but he has always been disturbed. He has been in therapy pretty much consistently since the age of 10 and it has made no difference. My W says that he was flagged by his preschool as being in need of help at the age of 3 when he wouldn't follow directions there. The pattern has continued. Something as simple as asking why a certain homework assignment isn't done can set him off into a fit of rage, Either that, or he dissolves into tears and a panic attack (he has anxiety). He is truly dangerous. He could easily kill someone with his bare hands.
He needs help. He has received, and is currently receiving, help. He has two therapists! But he isn't open to it, will not talk to anyone and wants to live in fantasyland where everything is provided to him and he doesn't have to lift a finger in effort. His grades suck, he has no goal in life. He and his brother both live with their father who enforces no discipline, is the quintessential beta male. My jerk stepson is the alpha in the household.
I love the kid despite my rage at how he is acting/is being enabled to act by his wimp of a father. And of course I am open to anything which may improve the situation. But I am more clear eyed about it than my W because he isn't mine. He is a time bomb. He's already attacked my wife and injured her in the past. I have told my W that until this situation improves considerably he is not welcome in our home, because I do not trust that he won't become violent again. At 6'5" and 250 pounds he is very strong. (I am a woman by the way, and a small one at that. I'd need a weapon to subdue him.)
EDIT: My W has had premonitions that this child will murder her one day. Knowing this, there is no way in hell I am going to give him the opportunity. The only thing I can do is bar him from our home, from overnight stays (which were commonplace until this year due to their ages). He strangled her when he was 15 and caused an eye injury. On one occasion within the last year we were shopping with him and he casually put his arm around my W's shoulder and said "I could wrap my hands around your neck and strangle you until you are dead." He is a SICK puppy.
He blames others for his actions, will not take any accountability. I am now the devil along with my W who has been the devil for years in his eyes. He hasn't spoken to me since April. He cannot accept any responsibility or accountability for his actions, which include strangling his mother (my W), beating up his father and terrifying his brother to the point where he barricaded his room with every piece of furniture he could find in order to prevent this piece of crap teenager from barging in and wreaking havoc.
My W and her ex made excuses for him in his younger years as he has his good points as well but he has always been disturbed. He has been in therapy pretty much consistently since the age of 10 and it has made no difference. My W says that he was flagged by his preschool as being in need of help at the age of 3 when he wouldn't follow directions there. The pattern has continued. Something as simple as asking why a certain homework assignment isn't done can set him off into a fit of rage, Either that, or he dissolves into tears and a panic attack (he has anxiety). He is truly dangerous. He could easily kill someone with his bare hands.
He needs help. He has received, and is currently receiving, help. He has two therapists! But he isn't open to it, will not talk to anyone and wants to live in fantasyland where everything is provided to him and he doesn't have to lift a finger in effort. His grades suck, he has no goal in life. He and his brother both live with their father who enforces no discipline, is the quintessential beta male. My jerk stepson is the alpha in the household.
I love the kid despite my rage at how he is acting/is being enabled to act by his wimp of a father. And of course I am open to anything which may improve the situation. But I am more clear eyed about it than my W because he isn't mine. He is a time bomb. He's already attacked my wife and injured her in the past. I have told my W that until this situation improves considerably he is not welcome in our home, because I do not trust that he won't become violent again. At 6'5" and 250 pounds he is very strong. (I am a woman by the way, and a small one at that. I'd need a weapon to subdue him.)
EDIT: My W has had premonitions that this child will murder her one day. Knowing this, there is no way in hell I am going to give him the opportunity. The only thing I can do is bar him from our home, from overnight stays (which were commonplace until this year due to their ages). He strangled her when he was 15 and caused an eye injury. On one occasion within the last year we were shopping with him and he casually put his arm around my W's shoulder and said "I could wrap my hands around your neck and strangle you until you are dead." He is a SICK puppy.