Originally Posted by Tedthib
I talked to a counselor, and I was told to not call/text or answer her text. It makes perfect since to do that. I understand that by talking to her every day there is no reason for her to be here, because she is using that security knowing that I am broke up and want her back to stay away as long as she likes without risking her home/family. It's been three days since we've talked. This is killing me! Am I doing the right thing or am I pushing her further away? Meanwhile my youngest kid cried to me last knight, that was so so heart breaking to tell her that mom loves you and she's going to come home soon. I don't know what to say to my little girl. I don't want them to hurt for there mom like I am. I can't help think that this is a game to my wife. I think she is doing all this just to have some extended vacation. I think she is confused about herself and is being lead by her friends and her mother to leave. What they don't know is she is not telling them the truth so their advice is for all the wrong reasons. Who in their right mind would tell someone to leave their family when there has been no cheating, drug abuse, wife beating, ect. My issues of "controlling" are something you work out, I have never run from my duties. I had no idea that she wanted to leave for a year now. Why didn't she tell me she was unhappy until now? If she would have said to me that she wasn't happy I would have done everything in my power to fix the issue. Am I doing the right thing?
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I would follow the counselors advice, maybe give her some space to sort things out, she did just lose her father who she was close to. Do a search on the 7 stages of grief and know that she is grieving for her father.
If your not going to talk to her does she ask about talking to the kids, if she does I think you should let her or your going to look like a real jerk.
It doesnt seem like she has detatched from you if she tries to stay in contact with you. You know the relationship is in big trouble when she wants to have no contact with you.