jessi

I feel for you as I'm going through some of what you are, although I'm early in on it, only 6 months since I found out......
I think you have to sit down with your hubby and explain that you have a lot of anger built up by what has happened in your marriage, tell him you trust him and that he has proven that he can be trusted by his actions......
Tell him this is your issue and that you need his help to work through this......
Be honest with your feelings, tell him you need to have him hear what is going on with you, tell him you don't need for him to get upset by you telling him any of this.....you need him to listen and understand why you need to vent this......I do this and I have also asked my husband to take me in his arms and tell me that what I'm feeling is normal and that everything will be okay because he loves me and that we want to have a good marriage and future together, I'm sure there are times when he wishes I could just get over it but he knows it will take reassurance on his part to re-build and he knows it will take some time for me to feel safe and let go of the anger that takes place for me at times.......
It is like a death and the steps to grieving. Look it up and see what the stages are........
It's just such a hard thing to understand for us, how they could have left us for someone else, and then we are suppose to just accept that when parts of our marriage don't totally belong to us any longer.....
Belief system is damaged and it's like we are just waiting for something to happen again.......
I'm sorry you are still in this place but keeping it in out of fear is not right......if he is really willing to stay married he will be willing to work with you.......
It's you time to really get close to him, let him help you.....