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No intimacy, any sex... is just sex. (and infrequent) He must feel somethings wrong because he makes the odd comment about me not loving him or divorcing him etc... i just walk away and dismiss it because Im too scared to enter into those types of conversation.
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It sounds like there are a lot of things going on here. It doesn't sound like you talk to him about these feelings, and while I understand hearing some of this may hurt him--I think you should let him know that you're worried about the relationship. If he's really committed to you he will respond. He knows something is wrong, please communicate with him so he doesn't feel like he's alone in this.
You should also be more honest with your psychologist. Talk about some of the problems you're having and maybe s/he can help you gain some insight on how your SA is affecting your marriage, or if it's your SA at all.
draconis asks some good questions. If you could focus on what attracted you to your husband in the first place, that might help.
and off topic on the love question...I wish I knew, is it me. I've got a lot of theories...