Talk About Marriage - View Single Post

nowayout · 07-19-2010, 02:45 PM

Where to begin.... Well I have been married for 19 years tomorrow and for the past 10 years it has been a struggle. We married out of her getting pregnant at the age of her 20 and me 19. Then 2 years later, we had our 2nd. That is where things turned in our relationship. She became sexually surpressed and this was a strain on me but I continued to push it aside and work thru that issue. Then after about 9 years, she developed a severe case of anxiety attacks which took a huge emotional toll on me and her. We dealt thru that for 4 years, with me having to re-assure her daily that things would be fine, that I loved her and we were going to make it thru. Well, about a year after these attacks were finally over, she had a fling with her ex-boyfriend in which she said some nasty things about me on AOL to some of her friends and met with him. She swears to me up to this day she never had sex with him but I feel differently and have no proof against it. After I exposed this to her, she repented, but things have never been the same. I still struggle to this day dealing with what happened. We do have sex every once in a while but I think it is only to satisfy our sexual needs. We don't sleep together, but she says it is because she can't sleep and she doesn't want to keep me up. Our kids are now 18 & 16 and I had thought of seperating after my youngest graduates HS but we found out that my wife is pregnant and due in Nov. What do I do? I don't find her attractive anymore after all we have gone thru and she has gained so much weight (before being pregnant) that she isn't desirable anymore. I feel like I am putting on a show to everyone to make things look as though they are fine. We both are Christians, and I know that I would be sinning if I were to divorce her. I feel as though I have NO WAY OUT! Where do I turn?

07-19-2010, 02:45 PM	#1 (permalink)
nowayout Registered User Join Date: Jul 2010 Posts: 1	Feel Trapped with No Way Out Where to begin.... Well I have been married for 19 years tomorrow and for the past 10 years it has been a struggle. We married out of her getting pregnant at the age of her 20 and me 19. Then 2 years later, we had our 2nd. That is where things turned in our relationship. She became sexually surpressed and this was a strain on me but I continued to push it aside and work thru that issue. Then after about 9 years, she developed a severe case of anxiety attacks which took a huge emotional toll on me and her. We dealt thru that for 4 years, with me having to re-assure her daily that things would be fine, that I loved her and we were going to make it thru. Well, about a year after these attacks were finally over, she had a fling with her ex-boyfriend in which she said some nasty things about me on AOL to some of her friends and met with him. She swears to me up to this day she never had sex with him but I feel differently and have no proof against it. After I exposed this to her, she repented, but things have never been the same. I still struggle to this day dealing with what happened. We do have sex every once in a while but I think it is only to satisfy our sexual needs. We don't sleep together, but she says it is because she can't sleep and she doesn't want to keep me up. Our kids are now 18 & 16 and I had thought of seperating after my youngest graduates HS but we found out that my wife is pregnant and due in Nov. What do I do? I don't find her attractive anymore after all we have gone thru and she has gained so much weight (before being pregnant) that she isn't desirable anymore. I feel like I am putting on a show to everyone to make things look as though they are fine. We both are Christians, and I know that I would be sinning if I were to divorce her. I feel as though I have NO WAY OUT! Where do I turn?