| | Re: How does one forgive?
You’re going through a process of grieving, look it up and understand the process. It is not possible to forgive while you have anger and dislike for the stbx inside of you.
Once you have worked through your anger and dislike, it does happen, you will find that as each day passes you become more and more “indifferent” towards your stbx. Indifference is the goal but it can take work and time to reach it.
After a while you’ll find that you’ve become “more or less” indifferent towards your stbx. Once you’re at that stage you can then work on the forgiveness process. It is a process, look it up and understand it. You may need to go through the forgiveness process a few times. Why? Because you were not as indifferent towards your stbx as you thought you were, there’s still some anger and resentment there.
It took me about 7 or 8 months to get my anger and dislike down to around 10% of what it was at the time we split. I “feel” I’m ready to try the forgiveness process while at the same time I feel I’m not quite ready as yet. But I may give it a try just to see what comes out of it. Maybe a new view, a new me, I’m not sure as yet and it is a little bit frightening for me. But I’m a person who truly believes in forgiveness so I know at some time I will forgive. Not for my stbx, but for me and only me so I can let go and move on with my life.