| | Re: Ladies...I need your help.
it really sounds to me like its something from her past.
I know I still have quirks from my ex, and he was 5-6 years ago, mine aren't money related, my husband can't be trusted with anything involving our money, mine are looks related.
My ex spent every minute discussing how I would look better, discussed me down to 108lbs and red hair. (not a good look for me I might add) I still dwell on my physical appearance and still ask constantly if I'm acceptable looking to my husband.
while its all speculation at this point, her reactions sound like she's worried you're not going to be happy with what she's putting forth, and she's trying make sure you're okay with her efforts. IT also sounds like she's experienced distrust previously too, which was one of my issues in my previous relationship from him, I've just found different ways to deal with it.
I agree with talking to her about it, maybe even open it up with an honest story of something one of your exs did, and how its caused a behavior, even if its putting down the toilet seat to ease tension.