Your wife is in an emotional affair and may not even recognise it and nor will she admit it.
Read the following thread it gives some ideas what to do. Is there an affair?
This thread has the carrot and stick approach Confused
For starters she needs to give you full access to all her accounts, text messages etc.. ..
Privacy is going to the loo, secrecy in a marriage is deceit
Start now.. it is vital to your marraige