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Abstinence for bj's

9K views 64 replies 29 participants last post by  TheTruthHurts 
#1 ·
Occasionally my husband will ask if we can not have sex for a week or so prior to asking for a bj. He also will ask if it's ok that he takes certain supplements that are designed solely to increase sperm production. I will usually agree and let him but was just curious if other men do this as well? My other sahm friends never heard of men doing this for bj. :surprise:
 
#3 ·
never heard of it, but everyone has their own kinks.

does he explain why?

taking a wild guess, i would say he wants to build a lot of pressure (physically and sexually) so he can have a greater release.
also, it might be about male power. building his sperm count, unless he is trying to get you pregnant through PIV makes no logical sense except to
express his male power fantasy by releasing a large sperm count.

personally it strikes me a bit odd and selfish, but if it doesn't bug you and turns you on, then all good.
 
#7 ·
He has told me flat out before he likes to make his ejaculate large for oral sex. He says it's a visual turn on. The supplements he takes are to increase semen volume but zinc and folic acid does increase sperm production also. I'm just wondering if others do this because my sahm friends seemed horrified when I told them I let him do this.
 
#11 ·
I've never heard of this - fetish? I suppose abstinence for a week would make his orgasm more intense, though, and bj's tend to produce much more intense orgasms anyway (in my experience, at least). Intensity can often be increased by having a greater volume of semen, which may explain the supplements. However, he is mislabeling their effect, I think.

I wouldn't give up sex for a week just for a better bj - to me it seems like sacrificing too much for a small gain in one event! If he takes care of you orally during that week, then perhaps it's not a loss for you - if you care.
 
#13 ·
Let me guess - he always wants to finish in your mouth. Its a common kink. Maybe more volume makes the kink better

I think there is no explaining kinks - they are almost by definition irrational.

If it doesn't bother you, then there is no reason not to play to his kinks as long as he is willing to do what you want in bed.
 
#16 ·
I don't have experience with the abstinence & volume side, but my H always preferred to finish orally. He would probably be happy without PIV or other activities at all. I read here on TAM about BJs as foreplay and it's difficult to relate. Every time I'd initiate BJ first, he would finish and I'd be left to my own devices.

That said, every couple is different, and if you don't mind the abstinence and the kink makes it good for both of you, then go for it!
 
#14 ·
Maybe there is a porn term for what he's doing?
I might ask my husband later.

How do you feel about it?
Does he return to favour with oral for you, or is he more concerned with his orgasms?

Be careful discussing your sex life with your friends, if they're horrified instead of understanding and helpful, their judgement could work to make you feel ashamed.


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#15 ·
Good points. My dh has always been very visual especially when it's for bj. I don't mind and he keeps me happy too. It just can be very difficult and nauseating when it is a lot built up, especially when I was pregnant. I just wasn't sure if this was a "thing" other men do to make getting a bj more exciting.
 
#20 ·
I have been known to take supplements to increase volume (Lecithin). I don't know about your H, but with me, I have had an issue for years where I will often have dry orgasms. It is not pleasurable. Whereas, when a larger volume is ejaculated, it is much more pleasurable. Now, I've never directly asked a girl to wait a week, but I've definitely avoided sex/masturbation for several days so that it will be far more enjoyable for me when it happens.
 
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#21 ·
In my opinion, I think it's great that the two of you are comfortable enough with each other that you satisfy each others' sexual desires and fantasies. It sounds like the two of you have no trouble communicating to each other what you want and you do it for your partner. That is great. I think it's a sign of a strong loving relationship where you are not keeping score. Perfect!

I do agree with not letting friends tell you what you should or shouldn't do. Friends will only be able to project based on their life experience and it is likely different from yours.
 
#22 ·
I don't know the answer but wondering. I understand the longer one goes between orgasms, the higher the overall volume. Is there measurable difference between going 3-4 days vs waiting a week?

I know going more than once a day or every day the volume is noticeably less, but I'm thinking there must be a point where the volume maxes out.
 
#23 ·
Just speaking for myself, anecdotally, ~2 weeks, without supplementation, volume seems to cap out. I've never gotten out some measuring cups, and tested it, just going on visual / cleanup requirements. After 3-4 days with a lot of lecithin and I'm usually good for 2-3 strong, pleasurable, voluminous orgasms. Then it's back to waiting, or faking it.

I don't think I'm a good source though, due to my admitted problem.
 
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#25 ·
I agree 7-10 days much more volumous than 2 days.

Again just wonder maybe at 4-5 days he's at 90% volume of where he would be at 7-10 days. As long as the two of you are both happy, all good.

As far as BJs, much more intensive orgasm here than PIV. If I'm remembering correctly anyway ;)
 
#26 ·
If it doesn't bother you that's great. I bet If you look at his porn history it's a bunch of facials and cumshots. Your a very nice wife if you don't mind this.
I find it disrespectful personally. How would he feel if you had a fetish for spraying his face when you orgasms, and you wanted to abstain from sex just so you could spray on him with more pressure and volume.
 
#29 ·
Ok here's my take and your homework.

In my years on the planet I've opened many internet doors that I wish I hadn't, but you can't really unsee something once it's out there.

You might want to get hold of 3 different porn clips and watch then with him and see what he thinks. You can be direct or show him these along with others.

First bukkake - this is a big enough thing that you'll have no problems finding it. If this turns him on... it'll be obvious. This stuff you either like or quickly move on.

Second, I've seen 2 other types of porn in enough quantity to believe these are common fetishes.

The first one involves a girl / woman overwhelmed by size/volume and gagging, etc. Seems a lot of guys have a male dominance thing going on and live to see this. The more innocent or helpless - but willing and not forced - the better it appears.

The second involves women who just can't get enough of the stuff. The fantasy appears to be that the woman twiddled her fingers all day dreaming of a huge load. This is kind of a power sharing fantasy - she demands and he performs.

If he has one of these fantasies and you can narrow it down, you can probably really turn him on by playing your part. You seem very open to him which is why I suggest this. But as you can see - the roles are kind of opposite so knowing which one is important.

If it's the latter you might even mix your own batch (I'm sure google can provide a formula) and you can surprise him by doing whatever with your batch you want to demonstrate your extreme desire for the stuff. Frankly I think this latter fantasy might dovetail with a fantasy of you taking matters into your own hands - when he arrives and you have your stuff and concoct a story line about someone sneaking out the back just a moment ago - idk but that could be where he's going

Who knows but he has SOMETHING on his mind and he seems to be spending all week building to it, so...


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#32 ·
Is it weird that I've never paid much attention to volume? I mean I know I can't fire one across the room anymore like when I was younger, but it's never really made me want to grab an eyedropper and start measuring.
 
#35 ·
My husbands one fantasy that I know about... when he starts talking about it during intercourse I literally start to dry up while he is in me and sex is sooo painful it has to stop. This is something I can't control. I guess I can use lube but that may or may not be handy when he gets to talking. Also it makes it obvious that I'm not into it if I need to stop to lube up.
Damn fetishes and incompatibilities...
 
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