Talk About Marriage - View Single Post - The dynamics of quickies for marriages with mismatched drives?
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post #1 of (permalink) Old 01-11-2017, 10:46 AM Thread Starter
badsanta's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2014
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The dynamics of quickies for marriages with mismatched drives?

One of the things that virtually never occurs in my marriage are quickies. I'll admit that I likely have too many personality traits of wanting to feel emotionally connected to my wife and insure that she is emotionally connected to me in order for physical intimacy to proceed. Otherwise I feel guilty and she complains of feeling "used."

However my wife recently mentioned the idea of us trying to do the occasional quickie as a way to help balance out our drives for one another. She went into detail describing how she would need for it to happen, which essentially would be for the purpose of knowing that she can easily please me, and relieve any building performance anxiety she gets from feeling pressured knowing that I am wanting/waiting to be with her. She says that it would be important for quickies to be seldom as she admits she NEEDS an emotional connection with me and for things to be relaxed and mutually enjoyable most of the time.

While I am hesitant to partake in such an offer, I do see some potential that it could relieve some of her anxieties and improve our overall marriage. She does need to feel me satisfied and content sometimes as opposed to me always having a building desire in the background.

So for those couples out there that have experience with quickies, would you mind sharing how they are both beneficial and/or detrimental to a marriage? I feel like I could do quickies and enjoy them, but I know they also seem like a double edged sword that likely require a great deal of respect for it to be beneficial to a marriage.

Thanks for your feedback! I'll also add a poll as I've seen many different opinions on this topic.

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