Ok so my husband has had a fantasy of watching me have sex with another guy for years now. A long time ago we did have a threesome with a mutual friend, I felt guilty after the incident, and after that we didn't do it again. Well this past year life had got in the way and we had a boring sex life and I remembered how happy and exciting things were after that one night so I decided if he brought up the subject again I would bite. Well he brought it up and I said I would be open to talking about it and possibly trying it. Needless to say he was excited. So I started reading more about it and I discovered that there were names for this fantasy/fetish called Cuckold and hotwife. We started off going to a swinger party and then joining a website. I warmed up to the idea for a few reasons #1 it sounded hot, two men all over me, #2my husband seemed to be so in love with me. Well I found a guy that seemed "my type" we met a few times, then it "happened". Well the guy seemed perfect, he was good looking, fun, charming but the sexual part I hated, he was really rough I mean not in a hurtful way just very "fast" and not romantic at all. I know that seems weird but I am a lady and regardless of the situation I still wanted that passion. Well after that my husband was obsessed! He fell in love with this new lifestyle but I didn't. It consumed our daily life our sex life and we went to a few more parties and I just couldn't get into it. Actually the last party I ended up crying in a corner because I felt bad that I couldn't do this for my husband. He felt bad and we left and he apologized for upsetting me just for his own pleasure. He says he will not bother me about it again but I know how happy this makes him. Well things were good for us sexually for a while but the last week or so he has been hinting little things like for example tonight he text me from work and said I want to talk dirty to you but I'm trying to be good. So I say well talk dirty to me then and he says I can't because I don't want to upset you I'm trying to change. So I say is that the only dirty way to talk to me. He said it the only thing that comes to mind. So I said ok so beside the "me sleeping with another man" fantasy what else do you get excited about and he says I'm not sure what is there to be excited about after 15 years!!!!wtf?? I'm so scared this is going to ruin us. He says he will not bring it up again but for me it's like wow nothing except for that fantasy excites him!!! Is he ever gonna be truly happy with me??