OPEN confession of a confused man. (please dont judge)
I'm a 44yo man married to a 35yo woman and super confused about my behavior. No kids. Financially very stable. Our marriage works, passion has dwindles some, but still strong. We also get along much better now than when we met. So I would summarize it as a great life and marriage.
About six months ago I started to create online dating site profiles and talk to women. I liked it so much that over 3 month I actually met several women just for coffee or dinner. I was into the thrill of it, not into the women so nothing happened.
Then 2 months ago I started emailing with a 21yo, sent her some money via paypal, and eventually met her once. Got a crush on her, but we dont talk anymore, she has a boyfriend. 3 weeks ago I met another woman, 29 yo and have a super huge crush on her now. I told her and she is not reciprocating so everything is back to normal (I will deal with my crush by myself). We still text.
I never had anything physical with any of these women, but I keep flirting with any woman I meet, cashiers, bystanders, coffee shop operators, business owners, you name it! I developed a technique that allows me to get their phone number in about 10-15 min of talking to them. I never call, I might text a couple of times, then I get tired and start flirting again with new girls.
What is the point of this? Am I going to end up badly? Anybody can make sense out of this? Soooo confused. Seeing a therapist now but he has not clue either.