Re: OPEN confession of a confused man. (please dont judge)
You are addicted to the attention. As soon as one of these younger women reciprocates that you find attractive, you'll be a cheater, and yes, it will ruin your marriage.
What you're doing is not unlike a porn addiction or a gambling addiction. You keep doing it because you like the high that goes with it. Make no mistake, your addiction will ruin your marriage and you will hate yourself.
Get a new therapist that deals with addictions. At least you have enough perspective to realize you have a problem.