Re: OPEN confession of a confused man. (please dont judge)
Men are predators by nature. You love the chase and conquest. You love the attention. You can't get that kind of thrill from your spouse.
Yes, this will end badly. VERY BADLY. You will hurt your wife irreparably and destroy your marriage. And you will NOT be happier for it. All the thrill of your stealth activities will be gone in a poof when you're suddenly just some single middle aged man trying desperately to not spend his nights alone.
I like the idea of seeing someone who specializes in addiction over just general counseling.
You also might see if your wife would be interested in role playing, where she's sitting alone at the bar and you go hit on her pretending you're strangers. (I've seen it done in movies...)