Re: OPEN confession of a confused man. (please dont judge)
Dang slkillme, you are extreme dude!
He is at a crossroads, like most peeps at midlife are. He is going through his second adolescence so to speak. I wonder if he even had his first adolescence at all? Maybe he just did what his family expected him to do. Please talk to us OP. I know my X husband engaged in gambling and drinking before fantasizing about OW and then finally seeking an AP because he was so miserable inside himself, that he thought our marriage and me were at fault for his internal pollution.
He seeked outside solutions to his internal pollution. The last one I tolerated was of course the affair. He mistakenly thought that if he was able to cheat it was because he had fallen in love. That of course was not true and his affair ended 5 months after we separated. He has had many girlfriends since his second chance at love failed.
He is not happy. He has aged tremendously and drinks a bit too much. His children see him as an ATM machine as well as his girlfriends of course. He has had a steady girlfriend for the past 7 years, yet I come across his profile on singles sites now and again. They don't live together and she is with him because she gets money from him. He cheats and I doubt that she is clueless about it. He will probably never change.
Oh, and he was classic midlife crisis. The red convertible and the motorcycle came with the OW as well. Poster child for midlife crisis!
Not trying to be harsh just speaking the truth, his wife is going to find out eventually and that will be the death of his marriage as he knows it. Even if she doesn't find out. These conquests aren't going to fix his insecurities and all he will be left with it guilt. The marriage as he knows it is dead. Your ex is a poster child for this stuff. OP will be their shortly. Relational death by self inflicted wound
Most men I know in their Mid 40's are struggling with getting older and realizing our youth is gone. The ones with character don't forget that we made commitments to our wives and still have honor to uphold. Most of all we love our loyal wives and know our job is to protect them even if we feel like we are getting old. Life is hard for everyone. It gets tiring to read these post over and over where people discard their loved ones feelings like they mean little more then a candy wrapper.