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post #10 of (permalink) Old 03-19-2017, 09:17 PM
aine's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Away and beyond in a hot place
Posts: 2,953
Re: Husband dictates when arguments are over

Originally Posted by Saibasu View Post
I really just need to rant here tonight. My husband drives me NUTS, no matter what happens, whether it be an argument or just him being an ass, he always dictates when it's time for me to shut up. Tonight for example, he asked me to bring a drink into our daughter, I was busy and asked if he could run one up to her. He does, then comes back and gets angry with me because he is tired. I'm tired too. He says whenever we are both tired he is ALWAYS the one who has to concede and get up.

First of all, that's BULL****. I'm pregnant, have a 7 year old with ADHD, and a 1 year old who hasn't slept since the day he was born. I'm always the one responsible to take care of him through the night and am up almost every night. I'm LUCKY if I get 3 or 4 hours in a night. LUCKY. And I do more than my fare share of household duties.

Whenever he is irritated with me he jumps from the one incident and extrapolates it. If he changes more diapers than me one day he will GUARANTEED say to me later that he always does all the diaper changes.

Then after my feelings were hurt I get a few minutes to try and talk with him then he just looks at me and says drop it. If I say I don't want to because I'm not done talking, he then proceeds to tell me that I talk about stuff too much and can't let things go.

Trust me, if I couldn't let things go, I wouldn't still be married to his ass.

Thanks for letting me rant. He's playing video games and I'm not allowed to talk about it anymore.


When you are on better terms, sit him down and tell him the long term consequences of his actions.
1. The kids will eventually grow up and not need you
2. You will have much more free time, might even get a job, etc and be more independent, no longer tied to the house with kids
3. If you keep stuffing these issues, it will eventually lead to resentment
4. Resentment will rear its ugly head many years down the road and when you have more power in the relationship you will use it
5. It could end up in the end of the marriage, a woman will forgive but never forgets. The emotional overdraft he is creating now will be to his detriment in the future when he needs some emotional deposit in the bank, for the bigger ****-ups. He won't have any credit.
6. He sounds immature, keeping count of diaper changes, etc.

Tell him this calmly and then get up and walk away, no further discussion. Let him think on it.

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