So angry at husband!
[Aside: I know the majority of posts (mine included) are usually negative and full of problems, but I guess that's the purpose of these forums: To vent and seek help. I intend to write a positive post about my husband in the near future because too much of these paint a pretty awful picture of our marriage and I want to remind myself it's not all that bad, but right now I need get this out.]
I'm so angry at my husband right now.
I've been having minor issues with my car. To the point I'm not comfortable driving it apart from to/from work; my mother's and errands that are literally on the way to/from work. My husband is aware of how I feel.
Long story short, we were out to dinner with his family. We drove separately because the restaurant was down the street from the apartment and I was to go visit my mom and do the laundry (we live in an apartment and the machines here are junk) and he had soccer practice.
I went back to the apartment after dinner to grab something for my mom and my car wouldn't start. I called my husband to see if he could determine what was wrong. No problem. After some tweaking, it started. Barely. It was making this awful sound and shaking and smelled like gas. I HAD to go back to my mom's because all of our laundry was there as well as the dog. I asked him to follow me to my mom's because I was worried it would die. Also, I don't have a phone so if anything goes wrong I'm screwed so I felt it was pretty important he follow me.
He was beyond bothered at my request. Apparently, missing a soccer practice was out of the question. Feeling like my safety was of no concern to him I was pissed. He then went on tell me that it will probably get there safe. PROBABLY. Well, what happens if I get there and it won't start again? He tells me he'll come grab me after practice, but I didn't want to wait around until 10 PM for him to get there. Again, I don't think this was an out of line expectation. Then he told me to drop him off at practice, go to my mom's and pick him back up. We'd worry about the car in the morning. His suggestion has me driving around the entire city. All of this is so he can get to practice and does **** all for our current problem. (How will I get to work in the morning?)
My suggestion was to have it towed to the dealership NOW then have him drop me off at my mom's. I would take a cab to work (no transit) and organize my car from there. This, of course, would means he needs to miss practice as we'd have to wait for the tow and he'd have to drive me back to my mom's then back home again after we grabbed everything. IMO, this was a no-brainer, but he seemed to think this was all very inconvenient.
I'm getting more and more pissed that he's showing no concern for my current situation.
I was above begging him to follow me to my mom's so I just told him to go to his practice and if I get there I get there. So he follows me and is all "I told you it'd get here fine." I'm still pissed because I now have to finish my laundry and see if it starts back up. If it doesn't, he'll be at practice on the other end of the city. He asks why I'm angry and I told him I'm pissed that he's placing a stupid soccer practice over my safety, organization of the car and me getting to work in the morning.
His response? "You don't want me to play soccer anymore, do you?"
EXCUSE ME? I was beyond pissed now. He's made it all about him. Not to mention his reasoning was just... Odd.
Admittedly, we've had issues with the sport lately. In sum, they contracted a lot of new players so he gets no playing time. I DID tell him months ago I think it's absolutely stupid for him to spend his Sunday evenings away from his family to sit on a bench. He was the star player last year and I told him I think he needed to speak up and demand more playing time or he can walk. (He can easily find a new team.) I know he's been sensitive that I've stopped watching him and the main reason is because he doesn't play! I have a lot to do on a Sunday night and watching my husband sit there isn't one of them.
Anyway, I'm just so angry! Not just that he put a sport above me, but because he had no concern for my safety when I told him I was not comfortable driving. He made me feel of such little importance and like a bother. Like I was interfering with his day.
He went to soccer practice and I went to my mom's. Luckily, my car did start, but I'll have to take it in in the morning. (I'm not even confident it will start then.)
I've never been made to feel so small over what seemed to be such a simple thing. Wife in distress and mutual property trumps a stupid soccer practice. His lack of concern the way he victimized himself has me so angry.
I'm usually very vocal and all about a conversation, but I've asked him to sleep on the couch. I know if I talk to him now I'll FLIP. Worse, he won't UNDERSTAND why I'm mad. In his eyes, my requests were ludicrous. All I can think about is how this is such a red flag for future crises.
How do I relax? How do I get over this situation? Car trouble is frustrating enough, but couple it with marital problems and I just want to cry!