Talk About Marriage - View Single Post - So angry at husband!
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post #14 of (permalink) Old 03-20-2017, 07:39 AM Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 154
Re: So angry at husband!

I'll address 2 things first:

1. Concerning me not valuing his sport.
No. We both play competitively and devote 3 evenings/week to the game. My issue with his ONE team is that THEY aren't valuing HIM. He shouldn't be sitting on the bench and I told him I can't watch under those circumstances. He needs to speak up, tell his coach that he's too good of a player to sit. His club is basically trying to make another team (of a lower division) so they're running all the trials with the current team at HIS (and other players) expense. He's one of the few starting players that's still showing up to these practices/exhibitions. The majority of them have told their coaches that they don't come to sit. That's what I honestly feel he should be doing. Otherwise, they're going to think they can take advantage of him. So yes, I'm currently not valuing his place on this team under the current dynamic and he knows things have changed and he's not seeing the field much. It's not that I don't value his choice to play as a whole. I was flabbergasted he didn't respect my approach (that I think he's too good to ride the bench) and went off that I expected a safe escort to prioritize over a stupid practice.

2. Getting a new car
I've told him for about a YEAR that we need to start budgeting for a new car. We have one brand new car. However, we both have very different approaches concerning cars and it's caused a source of drama before. In sum, I believe in taking no more than 3 years to finance a car. After that, you own it. It's an asset. As soon as the car requires the same or more money to get it fixed as it would to finance a new one it's time to realize that car has no value and move on. He doesn't agree and he drove his last car to the ground, got stuck with no money saved and ended getting a new one he didn't even want on MY MOTHER'S CREDIT - NOT HIS. He's been sensitive about this since it happened and he's actually lied to people that he didn't need a co signer when he did. His whole family is like this. Half of them don't own cars and his father just got one on a TEN year finance. That car will have no value in 7 and he'll be paying it off for another 3. That makes no sense to me. My car not starting was the universe's way of saying I was right... My car is going to need attention. He seems to think it has years left. He didn't want to acknowledge it was a big deal because that would be acknowledging I was right. He HATES letting it be known I was right. IMO, this is the underlying reason as to why he didn't want to help. It just opened too many old wounds concerning his pride, his family's approach to finances (another source of drama between us), etc.
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