Originally Posted by loveless1

First off hello new guy here!! my wife of over 13 yrs and mother of 5yr old twins just dropped the bomb on me that shes not IN LOVE with me... iam just heart broken as i just thought we were sole mates me and her against the world . a little history: we never fought ever we have known each other since high school but got together after her frist marrage failed i was never married. we always had a connection i really gave this my heart and soul.well after she told me this iam lost iam the type of guy who doesnt drink, no smoke, i have a job, drivers liscense, a business i have been running since 1989 i was never unfaithful, iam a good dad always around and always helping with the kids and home. i kept my same weight since we met and never let me appearence down, never physical hurt her ever... i cant believe this as i thought we had the dream marriage... i have been searching for help on the net and all the advice for help with FIX ITS is taylored around the fact that as a man i did something wrong..now dont get me wrong im not perfect but as far as the ideal pic goes i fit it..i have always complimented her through out or marraige, let love notes, bought flowers and nice things, made special arrangements or suprises for no reason every cell phone hang up ended in ILOVE YOU and i ment it. after the twins were born the distance started the sex was non existant but i continued to communicate asking her whats going on what can i do ect.. no answers after a few yrs i thought the distance was from post pardum from haveing the babies and hormone imbalance.. so directed my efforts into taking even more time with the kids to give her a break figured that would work never at all thinking that i needed to spend more time on us... i honestly never thought that US was an issue i thought we shared the same love connection. so now thats its out and my heart is completly crushed and we talked a million times i moved out for a few days but came home on my own because i missed my children i tryed to give her space but my sole was to weak to have patience..plus i missed my kids terribly.so now i have trust issues and feel hurt allthough i do realize it takes 2 to be in love and i cant condem her for telling me how she feels . we have a marriage counsler app tomorrow but just before writing this i caught her in a big lie never saw that side of her before now i question everything... all i ever wanted was to be happily married i understand people can have diffrences and dislikes i have a good bunch i dont like that she does but i never fell out of love with her. sorry to ramble looking for any advice at all loveless1.