Talk About Marriage - View Single Post

country boy · 08-17-2010, 04:57 PM

Update

It has been a few months since my last post and things got a little better for a while but it has all fell apart in past few weeks. Everything was going great. We were spending more time together, talking more about her needs and my needs. Working on projects together and then it started downhill.
The one thing we did not or let’s say I did not make happen was we have not met with a marriage counselor yet. I asked her from the beginning back in March to find one and get us an appointment and she never did and I did not do it myself. So I will take the blame on that one. She kept saying there were none available in our small town or they were all booked up.
Here is where I need advise at the moment. Last Friday afternoon she meets me at the lake after she got off work to fish and spend time just her and I with no kids. I had taken the day off along with the weekend to spend with her. We fish until dark, trailer the boat and talk with a friend of hers and mine at the ramp until about 9:00 pm. She drinks about 4 beers while we are talking and so do I. She heads home ahead of me (about 4 miles of dirt road). I get home she is nuking supper and she ask how much I love her. I tell her I love her to much because she gets everything she asks for. Then I make the mistake and ask her if I was the only one she ever truly loved. The answer I get floors me. She says, no you are not, I was in love with **** before I meet you but he did not want me. So in my dumb sarcastic way I say so you settled for me. I can be an *ss and verbally abusive when offended. This is when I told her she was the only person I ever truly loved. I just went to my chair to pout.

Well that went over like a ton of lead sh*t. She exploded on me. I went to my chair and set down with my meal and she came and was verbally attacking me. I did my usual and tried to ignore her. After that she did something I never expected. She put both hands around my neck and began choking me until I could not breathe. When I struggled to free myself she climbed on top of me in the chair and it flipped back with her on my chest. I got free and tried leave in my truck with boat attached and she attacked my truck with an axe. When I finally got away and was going to drop my boat at front barn she rammed my truck with her Honda accord. After that I just pulled away and she chased me at a slow speed ramming my truck and trailer. I finally get to where I have cell signal and get 911 on phone she gets around me on the dirt road and blocks me. I tell her I have the sheriff on the way and she tries to leave but the car will not start because of the damage. She leaves walking back home.
The law gets there and tells me it is assault with a car and I could have her put in jail. They tell me I could sign an order of confinement and have her sent to nut house. I can still do all of this because it is in the report. At this time all I could think about was the children and how this would affect them so I did not let them take her away.
I left and stayed with family that night but at 8:00 am next morning she is calling telling me she is sorry it was her taking her medication for bipolar disorder on the 4 beers that made her do it. She was not drunk. I have seen her drink way more and still function normally. She can out drink me. She has been violent before without drinking but not to this point.
I agreed to come home if she promised to get a counselor set up for this week. She already sees a psychiatrist for the bipolar stuff once a month. I get home late Saturday afternoon and she is there all fine like nothing ever happened. She is 44. Could this be some kind of chemical imbalance at her age? She has set up a counselor for tomorrow.
I really do want to work this out but now I am afraid for my children (son 16 and daughter 14) and my safety. I had never seen that kind of rage in her before. Should I try to work this out with the marriage counselor or try and contact her psychiatrist and let them know what she did? There is no dought she needs help but what is the best way to get it for her? I do not want to see her locked up because of the kids but what else can I do. I cannot sleep with one eye open the rest of my life and I cannot afford another night of bumper cars. (Honda accord totaled, $6,000 damage to my truck, $1,200 damage to boat trailer) One thing I did learn on a lighter note is the Honda accord is not a tuff as the GMC Z-71.

08-17-2010, 04:57 PM	#10 (permalink)
country boy Registered User Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: texas Posts: 17	Re: What do I do Update It has been a few months since my last post and things got a little better for a while but it has all fell apart in past few weeks. Everything was going great. We were spending more time together, talking more about her needs and my needs. Working on projects together and then it started downhill. The one thing we did not or let’s say I did not make happen was we have not met with a marriage counselor yet. I asked her from the beginning back in March to find one and get us an appointment and she never did and I did not do it myself. So I will take the blame on that one. She kept saying there were none available in our small town or they were all booked up. Here is where I need advise at the moment. Last Friday afternoon she meets me at the lake after she got off work to fish and spend time just her and I with no kids. I had taken the day off along with the weekend to spend with her. We fish until dark, trailer the boat and talk with a friend of hers and mine at the ramp until about 9:00 pm. She drinks about 4 beers while we are talking and so do I. She heads home ahead of me (about 4 miles of dirt road). I get home she is nuking supper and she ask how much I love her. I tell her I love her to much because she gets everything she asks for. Then I make the mistake and ask her if I was the only one she ever truly loved. The answer I get floors me. She says, no you are not, I was in love with **** before I meet you but he did not want me. So in my dumb sarcastic way I say so you settled for me. I can be an ss and verbally abusive when offended. This is when I told her she was the only person I ever truly loved. I just went to my chair to pout. Well that went over like a ton of lead sht. She exploded on me. I went to my chair and set down with my meal and she came and was verbally attacking me. I did my usual and tried to ignore her. After that she did something I never expected. She put both hands around my neck and began choking me until I could not breathe. When I struggled to free myself she climbed on top of me in the chair and it flipped back with her on my chest. I got free and tried leave in my truck with boat attached and she attacked my truck with an axe. When I finally got away and was going to drop my boat at front barn she rammed my truck with her Honda accord. After that I just pulled away and she chased me at a slow speed ramming my truck and trailer. I finally get to where I have cell signal and get 911 on phone she gets around me on the dirt road and blocks me. I tell her I have the sheriff on the way and she tries to leave but the car will not start because of the damage. She leaves walking back home. The law gets there and tells me it is assault with a car and I could have her put in jail. They tell me I could sign an order of confinement and have her sent to nut house. I can still do all of this because it is in the report. At this time all I could think about was the children and how this would affect them so I did not let them take her away. I left and stayed with family that night but at 8:00 am next morning she is calling telling me she is sorry it was her taking her medication for bipolar disorder on the 4 beers that made her do it. She was not drunk. I have seen her drink way more and still function normally. She can out drink me. She has been violent before without drinking but not to this point. I agreed to come home if she promised to get a counselor set up for this week. She already sees a psychiatrist for the bipolar stuff once a month. I get home late Saturday afternoon and she is there all fine like nothing ever happened. She is 44. Could this be some kind of chemical imbalance at her age? She has set up a counselor for tomorrow. I really do want to work this out but now I am afraid for my children (son 16 and daughter 14) and my safety. I had never seen that kind of rage in her before. Should I try to work this out with the marriage counselor or try and contact her psychiatrist and let them know what she did? There is no dought she needs help but what is the best way to get it for her? I do not want to see her locked up because of the kids but what else can I do. I cannot sleep with one eye open the rest of my life and I cannot afford another night of bumper cars. (Honda accord totaled, $6,000 damage to my truck, $1,200 damage to boat trailer) One thing I did learn on a lighter note is the Honda accord is not a tuff as the GMC Z-71.