Talk About Marriage - View Single Post - How does the sand taste bremik? I told you so.....
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post #6 of (permalink) Old 04-02-2017, 01:33 PM
Marc878's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Southeast
Posts: 3,268
Re: How does the sand taste bremik? I told you so.....

Originally Posted by bremik View Post
There have been talks on here how those "holding out" for love or pinning hopes on reconciliation often end up coming back when the other shoe finally drops. Here I am!

Ironically, I have been trying to talk to my wife since last November and various "now is not a good time" by me or her got me to this past Friday. I decided to write a letter complete with what I loved about her, what I thought was bad about her but was just a part of her personality that I considered and accepted to be a part of who she was. And finally, that her relationship/boundary handling of other males coupled with the lies and deceptions surrounding those relationships was something I could no longer emotionally handle. Hoped for a good talk Friday night and instead got good sex- awesome but not what I was hoping for.

She pacified you with pity sex. She's playing you for a fool.

Saturday she and a 2 of our children were away during the day and unfortunately for both of us she left her phone.

Not unfortunate unless you'd rather have your head buried in the sand.

After mentioning in her letter how much she guarded her phone I of course wouldn't let such an opportunity escape and started searching the phone. Also in my letter I had how her college "friend" Jay had been such a detriment to our marriage and lo and behold I found out through her phone that her and Jay have been i-messaging for at least a year and I would say safe to bet longer than that. Since 3 pm yesterday afternoon when I figured this out I have pretty much been wanting to throw up. Not only have they been in contact with each other he has a new number - one of the reasons I didn't catch it- and just to make sure to really hide things my wife had that new number under his farm name and not his actual name- another miss on my part.

Make no mistake this is and has been a full on physical affair and never stopped

Just to drive the stake in a little deeper she proceeded to talk to me that night- unaware of my find that day- how I just can't get past the "issues" and just keep going in circles with all this. Oh and she hadn't talked to Jay so why is he an issue still? She agreed trust was the issue and was doing everything she could do to re-build that trust. So TAM members/posters you have another point of win in your court.

She's an entitled cheating, liar and will not stop. Apparently long term J means more than you or her marriage. Better get tested for STD's and stay away from that.

Any newbies to this- read and memorize BS with a long time update. I got a lot out of it and myself have lived a lot of it. I-messaging sucks because it doesn't show up on cell phone logs. True remorse and hard honesty is a must for reconciling at a minimum. Just my input
Had you put a VAR in her car like you were advised to do you wouldn't have wasted so much time on this albatross.

I hope you've fully woken up this time
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