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Do some men use porn to relieve an erection?

17K views 171 replies 42 participants last post by  notmyrealname4 
#1 ·
The duration of my relationship with my SO is close to a year now and during this time I have found porn 3 times. We have an active sex life and I never turn him down. We have sex if not every other day then at least every 3 days. The 2nd time I found it I felt I needed to confront him since this was something I have never wanted in my relationship and I felt I might not have been clear. We talked and he said that he used it only because at that time we were visiting at my moms for a week and he had woke up turned on and then my mom walked in the room so he couldnt approach me for sex. Therefore he went to shower and that is when he used it. He promised he didn't have a problem with porn and he wouldn't use it again. Well 5 months later I find it again. I was getting ready to go to a wedding reception without him and then I decided I wanted a quick nap before. He said I could come and lay down nude and nap with him and I said no ill put my nightie on. I had no idea that was his way of trying to get me into bed for sex so I didn't get the hint and fell asleep. He said watching me getting ready and the dress I wore was low cut and sexy so he became aroused. So when I left he said he contemplated on not masteubatin and waiting for me but then the urge was intense and he didn't know if I would be home that night he figured not till early morning since I like to stay out and party. I asked why he had to use porn couldn't he do it without and his answer was it speeds up the process. According to the history it was about 15 min after I left and he only viewed it for 10 or so min. I obviously realize he isn't an avid porn user but is his answer valid? He seemed to think I had a problem with masturbation and I have gently explained that I'm fine with it that it's the porn I have an issue with. He grew up LDS so he was taught masturbation is shameful and he should feel dirty. I told jl to never feel that way and that it's ok if the time calls for it. But I also made him aware I will always satisfy his urge at any moment. He says he doesn't like to bother me that he feels selfish and he never wants me to feel used. We have kept the communication open since this happened last week and he says he feels closer to me knowing he can talk about the most embarrassing things and I don't look at him differently. He said I am making him a better person. He had a bad marriage before and used porn to relieve himself since they never had sex towards the end. Little personal info he is 50 and I am 41 both of us are in great shape and I always take care of my appearance. Just need some input since it is hard for me to undestand and I want to feel ok about his reason . Thanks in advance
 
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#2 ·
His reason isn't what's important. Its your unflexible rigidity and closemindedness regarding his porn use.

Guys look at porn and most of the guys who look at it are either flipping the pages or typing with one hand because the other one is occupied.

It's normal, it's natural and you need to either accept it or else he's going to lie and resent you for not "allowing" it.

As far as "using porn to relieve an erection because he was really turned on by what you were wearing" let's just say he's rather creative.
 
#3 ·
His reason isn't what's important. Its your unflexible rigidity and closemindedness regarding his porn use.

Guys look at porn and most of the guys who look at it are either flipping the pages or typing with one hand because the other one is occupied.

It's normal, it's natural and you need to either accept it or else he's going to lie and resent you for not "allowing" it.
This quote is true, I personally never been a big user but still watch occasionally, I honestly don't know a single guy who doesn't watch porn from time to time. My STBXW and I also used to watch it together on occasions.
 
#7 ·
According to some women on here, their husbands do not use porn. According to some men on here, they do not use porn. So there is a subset of the male population who simply are not entertained by porn and there is also a subset who agree not to use it because their partners find it hurtful.

I have zero issues with porn consumption. While me and my partner used it extensively during periods of absence, I don't think he's used it since I moved in except for the occasions where we view together to set the mood. I definitely have watched on my own in between.

I think for people who do use porn, particularly men, it is difficult to understand why others find it hurtful. A big part of the reason why it is difficult for men to understand why their female counterparts react the way you do, is because they relate to sex/porn differently. The common complaints from women are that porn makes them very self conscious, they wonder if their partner is thinking of the women in porn while having sex with them and they feel like their partner must not find sex with them satisfying if he needs to look at porn. For most men, these assumptions are very far from the truth and they have little interest in/memory of the women, they see in porn videos. It's about the opportunity for a quick release, not some deeply gratifying sexual experience.

That being said, you'll need to have a serious conversation with your partner to clarify exactly why this is hurtful to you. He'll need to explicitly agree to stop (or not) viewing porn. Moving forward you'll need to establish this boundary and consequences for breaking it.
 
#11 ·
Men need visual stimulation, also men have poor visual memory compared to many women, women have better visual memories on average. So this combination means men need something to look at.

An idea that you could do, but has risks (hackers and all this crap these days) would be to make a video with him or send him nudes. Again, that might be out of your comfort zones. However for me personally, i only used porn as a way to visualize more, i almost always think about my wife when masturbating, i could be the one weird guy that is this way or it could be more normal than that. There is also a possibility that since you do have sex a lot he likes to have more of an adventure and look at something different. Everyone gets wandering eyes at times and as long as it stays within fantassy land and not acted upon it is ok. This is something we all have to cope with, some people are more likely to wander their eyes than others.


Women read erotic novels, or erotic writing or just have creative minds and think of dirty things, men like to see stuff. I have a very vivid memory and i usually think of my wife. When she shuts me d own from sex because i am like a rabbit who needs it like twice a day, i sometimes get frustrated and watch porn because i am frustrated with my wife and can't th ink about her. This doesn't mean i dont love her or don't want to be with her.

I wouldn't really worry about it though, men use porn, women use vibrators, we all have our things we need.


As for getting rid of an erection, pretty sure that was just an excuse. Porn watching takes longer than just rubbing one out. If i am horny enough to have an erection i can't get rid of, then i can get off pretty easily. usually porn is used when i am horny but not horny enough so to speak. IT's more like a catalyst than a fuel.
 
#18 ·
@Lizzyb generally speaking men are creatures of habit. If your husband used porn when he was young, he likely enjoyed it AND hid any behavior associated with it from his parents (likely because they forbid any porn in the house). The prospects of getting "caught" with porn actually makes it way more exciting.

So what has changed? Your husband still likes using porn and being extremely discrete about it. Meanwhile you may have not intended it this way, but by forbidding it in your relationship it recreates a scenario to where your husband remains a creature of habit based on his preexisting behaviors long before he met you.

So how do you change that? You have to take away any shame associated with porn. That is not the same as tolerating porn, but more about acknowledging that your partner is not perfect and that you still love and accept him despite his flaws. You seem to be very caring and nurturing towards his libido which is a wonderful thing, so continue encouraging him to embrace that aspect of your relationship as opposed to turning to porn.

The fact that your partner would "need" porn in order to masturbate is an area of concern! Yes porn will enhance masturbation, but he should be just fine without it. This does demonstrate that he needs some source of extra stimulation when you are not available or for what ever reason that he does not feel confident enough to ask you. Be very careful about taking nude photos or videos for him as technology is very complicated with regards to privacy, backups, and cloud storage these days. So if he needs a little "something" to enjoy during his moments alone, talk to him and try to see if there is something that he might enjoy other than porn. Perhaps you could buy him some "tenga eggs" and just tell him to enjoy thinking of you wanting him to be happy since you purchased them for him.

Regards,
Badsanta
 
#21 ·
Lots of wildly varying opinions on porn.

Mine is that watching porn is fine as long as it doesn't interfere with one's sex life. Its not fine, if it does interfere.

Some men use porn as a masturbation aid, sort of the way a woman might use a vibrator. For them it makes it quicker to get off - so it could be used to "take care of" an erection.


OP, only you know how important this is to you. I would suggest that you consider carefully how much it matters - this is the sort of thing that could blow up into a huge problem. If your sex life is good, and he is usually sexually available for you, does it matter if he turns to porn at times when you are not available for sex with him?

If you press the issue, he may hide it - causing future blow-ups when you find out. He may also feel that you are trying to control something that he considers private - the way you would feel if he ordered you to stop masturbating.

Again if it matters enough, it is your choice, but its the sort of conflict that can destroy relationships.

You both have choices, but one set of choices leads to the relationship ending. Is it really worth that?
 
#24 ·
I love your response! I never made him feel bad for masturbating which he greatly appreciated and said that he has never been able to open about it with anyone so it was very liberating for him. He said he isn't embarrassed now and that he feels being able to talk openly like this just brings us closer. He is willing to work with me throught this and just felt that he could not ask me to have sex before I left for the wedding reception. Knowing now that he can come to me when the urge arises he said he will definitely go that route now.
 
#26 ·
Some? I think it may be a majority. Masturbating to porn has been blamed for the decline of sex millennials have compared to us old times who had no internet.
 
#48 ·
Their problem isn't that they masturbate to porn.

It's that they fap so much and so hard (no pun intended) that they can't stand up (they're sore) and they have issues seeing out their left eye (now that's some heavy cold cranking going on there).
 
#27 ·
From the responses you've received so far, you can tell that there's a wide range of opinions when it comes to porn use. Here's a question to help gain another perspective. Are there any sexual activities that he's approached you with that you do not feel comfortable doing? Some examples could be role playing, anal sex, light BDSM, 3 way sex, etc. Has he asked for this more than once? I bring this up because it may indicate that he has a fetish or otherwise intense interest in a certain type of sexual activity. Please let me be clear that you should never do anything you don't feel comfortable doing, but if those needs/intense wants of his are not being fulfilled, he may be using porn on a limited basis to relieve his interests in those areas. The fact that he spends most of his sexual energy on you (where it belongs) shows that he has his head on straight about how often he turns to porn. If this is the case, my opinion is that the limited porn use is a good thing because he has found a way to relieve those few desires that you don't AND remain faithful in your relationship. Again, if this is the case, in his mind he has already compromised because instead of making you do something that you don't want to do, he turned to porn to meet those needs those few times. He'd rather have done those things with you (else he wouldn't have asked) but the needs were still there after being refused. Cutting him off completely will eventually lead to some sort of resentment on his part, which could negatively impact other areas of your relationship.
 
#28 ·
You need to be OK with you NOT being OK with porn

You need to be realistic about his desires for looking at naked women

He needs to be OK with you NOT being OK with porn

He needs to be realistic and honest with you about his porn use

Worst thing either you can do is promise or demand. It will fail within a week or so. Just be realistic.

Realistically many men will feel horny almost daily (sometimes several times a day).

The good part about porn use is that it means your husband is a very sexual person. The alternative is a man who is not so bothered about sexy things and can take or leave the sight of a naked woman. That would be quite boring to me. So...have lots of sex, make it different and fun, try lots of new things, be sexual even when you are not having sex (i.e teasing him throughout the day). Chances are porn will become boring very quickly. If you are having rocking sex where he makes you feel like a sex goddess, then the odd sneaky porn session will be no big deal. I have this inkling that many women hate porn because they are being sexually neglected, or they don't feel sexy enough.
 
#29 ·
The duration of my relationship with my SO is close to a year now and during this time I have found porn 3 times. We have an active sex life and I never turn him down. We have sex if not every other day then at least every 3 days. The 2nd time I found it I felt I needed to confront him since this was something I have never wanted in my relationship and I felt I might not have been clear. We talked and he said that he used it only because at that time we were visiting at my moms for a week and he had woke up turned on and then my mom walked in the room so he couldnt approach me for sex. Therefore he went to shower and that is when he used it. He promised he didn't have a problem with porn and he wouldn't use it again. Well 5 months later I find it again. I was getting ready to go to a wedding reception without him and then I decided I wanted a quick nap before. He said I could come and lay down nude and nap with him and I said no ill put my nightie on. I had no idea that was his way of trying to get me into bed for sex so I didn't get the hint and fell asleep. He said watching me getting ready and the dress I wore was low cut and sexy so he became aroused. So when I left he said he contemplated on not masteubatin and waiting for me but then the urge was intense and he didn't know if I would be home that night he figured not till early morning since I like to stay out and party. I asked why he had to use porn couldn't he do it without and his answer was it speeds up the process. According to the history it was about 15 min after I left and he only viewed it for 10 or so min. I obviously realize he isn't an avid porn user but is his answer valid? He seemed to think I had a problem with masturbation and I have gently explained that I'm fine with it that it's the porn I have an issue with. He grew up LDS so he was taught masturbation is shameful and he should feel dirty. I told jl to never feel that way and that it's ok if the time calls for it. But I also made him aware I will always satisfy his urge at any moment. He says he doesn't like to bother me that he feels selfish and he never wants me to feel used. We have kept the communication open since this happened last week and he says he feels closer to me knowing he can talk about the most embarrassing things and I don't look at him differently. He said I am making him a better person. He had a bad marriage before and used porn to relieve himself since they never had sex towards the end. Little personal info he is 50 and I am 41 both of us are in great shape and I always take care of my appearance. Just need some input since it is hard for me to undestand and I want to feel ok about his reason . Thanks in advance


From the responses you've received so far, you can tell that there's a wide range of opinions when it comes to porn use. Here's a question to help gain another perspective. Are there any sexual activities that he's approached you with that you do not feel comfortable doing? Some examples could be role playing, anal sex, light BDSM, 3 way sex, etc. Has he asked for this more than once? I bring this up because it may indicate that he has a fetish or otherwise intense interest in a certain type of sexual activity. Please let me be clear that you should never do anything you don't feel comfortable doing, but if those needs/intense wants of his are not being fulfilled, he may be using porn on a limited basis to relieve his interests in those areas. The fact that he spends most of his sexual energy on you (where it belongs) shows that he has his head on straight about how often he turns to porn. If this is the case, my opinion is that the limited porn use is a good thing because he has found a way to relieve those few desires that you don't AND remain faithful in your relationship. Again, if this is the case, in his mind he has already compromised because instead of making you do something that you don't want to do, he turned to porn to meet those needs those few times. He'd rather have done those things with you (else he wouldn't have asked) but the needs were still there after being refused. Cutting him off completely will eventually lead to some sort of resentment on his part, which could negatively impact other areas of your relationship.
It's interesting that you bring this up because right before this incident happened I had asked him if your sex us too routine and if we need to experiment at all. His reply was absolutely no that he likes it being a routine and how he has no desire to incorporate anything else. When I say routine I mean it's very rourine every time and I was kinda wanting to switch it up a bit. He is open to me wanting to get out of our comfort zone but he himself has no ideas on how to do that. So I dot think he has a fetish or a fantasy to fulfill
 
#45 ·
It's interesting that you bring this up because right before this incident happened I had asked him if your sex us too routine and if we need to experiment at all. His reply was absolutely no that he likes it being a routine and how he has no desire to incorporate anything else. When I say routine I mean it's very rourine every time and I was kinda wanting to switch it up a bit. He is open to me wanting to get out of our comfort zone but he himself has no ideas on how to do that. So I dot think he has a fetish or a fantasy to fulfill

I'm wondering if the fact that he grew up in a strictly religious environment has limited his ability to discuss sex and his sexual needs beyond what is considered "normal" or "routine." It sounds like from this and other replies you made that he genuinely wants to please you and make you happy. However there is something that has drawn him to porn, even if it is a minor pull. I understand that this may be hard for you because of your opinion regarding porn, but is there a way to find out if there was a particular type of porn he watched previously? That might give you an idea of how to get him out of his sexual comfort zone without the need of porn in the future. Maybe if the topic of porn comes up between you two again, try asking him what the people were doing in the videos he watched, and then ask if he wants to try that with you (If his eyes suddenly light up in joy and anticipation, then I might be on to something here...). That might help experience something that interests him and curtail the need to watch others on video. If you do have this conversation with him, do NOT be judgmental about any answers he gives. If the religious upbringing is coming into play, having the conversation about something he knows you don't like (porn) will be hard enough for him. Being judged about what he says will shut him down and may lessen his trust in you. Remember, the purpose of this conversation is to gather information, not to curtail a behavior (at least not yet).


May I ask you, what is it about porn that you find distasteful? This question is not meant to attack your beliefs or morals. The purpose is to take a step back to determine why this particular activity is troubling in your relationship and to help find a solution that would make you both happy in the future. Sometimes determining "why" is every bit as important as the action itself when looking for a solution.
(For example, if your reasoning is that you do not want him to see other women naked, maybe try introducing him to the Lifetime Movie Network after 10:00 PM. That's about as close to softcore porn as you can get on TV without seeing nudity. It adds a little spice and excitement, eliminates the particular aspect you do not care for, and may even be something you can enjoy together.)
 
#30 ·
He's going to occasionally use porn, and doesn't really think it's a problem. And for him, it isn't. No doubt he thinks your hard boundary is unrealistic, and you'll get over it. If you really are serious about it, then you really have no choice other than breaking up with him and hope to find someone who will not only agree with you, but honor your boundaries. He won't respect your limits, no matter what he says, because he thinks they're irrational. He doesn't see the need to break up with you over it because he can just ignore you on this issue. If it's an occasional thing and doesn't affect your sex life, then I agree with him even though I think he should just be honest about it. (That may be difficult for him given how he was indoctrinated in his views of sex.)
 
#31 ·
Count me as one of the men on here who doesn't have a problem with occassional porn use. After 21 years of marriage, it comes in "handy" at times. Your attitude is wonderful! "If you need release just come find me and we'll take care of it!" That's great in the first few years of a relationship, but over time, real life takes over. There is work, there are kids, there are bills, and family, and (hopefully) hobbies. Men are very visual and porn is rarely about wanting to have sex with the person they look at. Heck, I don't EVER fantasize about being with any woman in porn. It's just a short-term visual stimulation.

However, you need your boundaries and if this is one, then stick to it. Don't equate flirting with other guys to viewing porn though. One is interactive and can lead to more. The other is nothing more than a visual image on a screen.

Sent from my LG-US996 using Tapatalk
 
#36 ·
I find it amazing in 2017 that men are still lying and sneaking around to masterbate to porn so their wife's don't know. It's still very much a dirty secret for men. I'm pretty sure my husband wouldn't want me to tell his friends, co workers or family about his porn use.

If you have to hide it from the world there must be a part of you that is ashamed of your porn habit. Woman tend not to hide the fact that we read romance novels, and not all woman read them. I have even borrowed romance novels from coworkers, and my DH's mother. I don't know why men think that all romance novels are graphic porn, cause they are not.

Most woman dont threaten divorce because of a little porn use, it's when it becomes an addiction that takes away from your sex life and brings lies and mistrust into the marriage that it becomes an issue.
 
#33 ·
This is a tough one.

I hardly ever look at porn. If my wife was available every few days, I don't think I would ever look at it. I have some pictures and videos of my wife that I look at quite frequently. They are much better than any porn I can look at!!!!

My wife and I have looked at porn together, but not for many years. Neither of us have ever told the other person that they aren't allowed to look at porn.

To be honest, if my wife told me that I wasn't allowed to look at porn, I would want to more! It would be more difficult to not look at it. Because I don't feel it is a betrayal. It is just a naughty thing to do. I am not so sure that it is a wise thing for you to tell your husband he can't do this.
 
#34 ·
I don't find anything wrong with the use of porn from time to time, I use it and my wife uses it. Sometimes it's not even so much for the visual but for the sound. Who knows, maybe he's putting it on, closing his eyes and imagining that the moans he's hearing are you. Personally for me, even with sex, I need some type of visual or audio stimulation or I get bored and go soft. I've even watched porn with my wife and basically acted things out along with it, it was great.
 
#41 ·
A lot of great responses and it does show how different we all are. I do think the main point is why can't we all be honest without being ashamed? If I am going to do something that I don't want my partner to know about then that's a major issue. I want to know my partner from the inside out otherwise I don't truly know him. Even if it's hurtful.
 
#42 ·
I have never had a problem with insecurity sorry if I am using this as my sounding board but when thus happened in all honesty I feel a little insecure. I am a 41 old woman who has always dated younger guys and when I met this one who is older and he made me feel like I was one in a million and how he had such a horrible marriage and how he has never felt this intense about someonne in all ways it kinda hurt to think that if I am away for a few hours this is what he resorts to. He is insanely jealous and hates that I get attention every where I go so I have done my best to make him feel secure by not accepting the drinks that are bought for me when out and not talking to the men that approach me. I value his feelings and never want him to think that I can be full filled by anyone else in anyway. I feel it's his fault for placing me on a pedastal and then by doing this I just felt like he pulled a rug from under me
 
#43 ·
I don't think it's all his fault. After all you did say that you never say no to him, but when he asked you if you would take your nap naked with him you did refuse. I would take that as the same as refusing sex. Granted you may not do that often, but it's something that your H probably doesn't like as much as you don't like porn and he doesn't do that often either.
 
#51 ·
There is no doubt the fact your husband agreed to abide by your wishes and then did not do so is hurtful. It really doesn't even matter what it was about. Porn or stamp collecting, perhaps flossing his teeth after 7PM. No one should tell you your concern is trivial. Certainly the fact your husband lied to you is really the heart of the matter, and what hurts.

People do often lie. Even to those they love the most. Perhaps they feel compelled to lie to those they love the most. How often have we seen it written that it's easier to talk about "this" on a chat board than with people someone knows? "This" can be anything. It's just easier to talk to others, or flipped 'round it's harder to be truthful with those we know. Especially with those we know best.

I congratulate you on doing a good job at being able to be truthful, yourself. But it's extremely hard to do for most people.

Hopefully you can find a way to a solution which works for you two to find happiness.

It's a tough situation. You definitely have every right to want what you want. Especially, you deserve the truth. Most of all though, you deserve happiness.

Be well
 
#58 ·
I don't think its so simple. There are some promises that should never be requested.

My wife masturbates - I know because sometimes the sex toys move from where I left them for easy reach. I once asked in the hope of learning more about what she physically enjoys. She said that she didn't. OK, I know she was lying but I don't care - she wasn't lying to hurt me but just because she finds masturbation to be embarrassing.

I could tell her that I don't want her to ever masturbate because she should have sex more often with me. She might even promise to do so because she has already claimed that she doesn't anyway. But that would be an unfair request and a promise that she would either break or regret. I have no right to control my spouse's private sexuality.
 
#56 ·
I love the above post by @alexm. I think the core issue of inadequacy is a big part of people working through porn issues. And many other issues about trying to control their partner's sexuality. Masturbating. Toys. Several things all tied in to feeling inadequate.

And I like the idea that if you are opposed to your spouse watching other people having sex, then make a video of the two of you for your partner to watch when you are not available.
 
#60 ·
I think there is a good deal of truth to your first paragraph.

As for the video - good idea! The trick would be - if my wife would even consent to making a video - would be finding another woman for the FMF threesome I'd like to watch! If your tastes are very mainstream vanilla, a video could work, but if you like to watch things that you wouldn't normally do, then a video with your spouse might not. Besides, I think it would get old after a few viewings, whereas with porn there is infinite variety, at least. My ex and I made a video - I think we watched it once or twice together and separately, then got totally bored with it and deleted it. <yawn>
 
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#69 ·
OP, I too once felt the way you do about porn. My STBXH wasn't addicted to it, that I am aware of, but we did watch it together occasionally. It took a lot of persuasion on his part, and I think the reason being is because he was very pushy about sexuality. He was always trying to get me to be "comfortable" with things I was not comfortable with. Examples would be threesomes, swinging, me doing sexual favors for strange men while he watched, etc.. (and this is why he's my STBXH). My point here is this. You mentioned that you have recently tested the waters just a bit with porn, and found you enjoyed what you see. I am one of those women who enjoy lesbian porn, but I DO NOT want to have sex with a woman. Find what you like and stick with it. It may be that your husband will enjoy what you enjoy as well, and sometime in the future you can share it with each other.

I am in a new, long distance relationship with a wonderful man, who is much older than myself. We have not yet watched porn together, but we are very open and honest about our sexual needs and wants. He knows I like lesbian porn and I know what he likes. We share many photos and videos of each other via text, due mostly in part to the LDR. He asked to have more photos/videos of me because he loves me and wants to look at me while he pleases himself. This was a huge confidence boost for me, as I've struggled with confidence issues off and on for a long time. He doesn't want anyone but me and has made that blatantly obvious. He has told me he prefers to watch me to "rub one out" than porn. I love that. But, neither of us are opposed to porn. I used to dislike the idea of my ex watching porn, and for a long time refused to watch it with him. He never made me feel comfortable with my sexuality. My new man, he is the total opposite, and he boosts my confidence ten-fold. I have never felt more comfortable with a man than I do with him. It's funny, all it takes is being with the right partner. The one who listens, cares and respects you. It seems you do have this type of relationship with your husband, and I think this issue of porn is just a minor setback. A speed bump if you will. There are plenty of ways you can compromise to make this work for both of you. Just put in the effort and the rest will be smooth sailing. :)
 
#80 ·
No but I plan to. We have agreed to complete openness, where we know eacother from the inside out otherwise do you really know the person? Right now he has been asking me a lot of questions and feels really hurt that I find other men attractive. He says my eyes scan the bar and sometimes linger. I don't realize I do that and told him to point it out when I do. He really is my only desire and while I find men attractive that's as far as it goes. Just a fleeting thought that he is nice looking and my single friends should be here type of thought. So when he hears I wanted naked men it's going to hurt him. I am waiting for this weekend for the right time after I have built him up
 
#79 ·
Lol well I thought some men used it to achieve an erection or because they are bored. Or as a hobby so to speak. I guess if it is used once in 5 months for 10 minutes then maybe it is just a rare horny occurrence where I am not there to relieve it for him
 
#77 ·
Real question - did the man (or men, I suppose) in the videos you watched look anything like your husband, in terms of body type, penis size, etc? I'm going to guess that no, they did not - but that's okay. It doesn't mean you're not attracted to your husband, correct?[/QUOTE]

No they didn't look like him and still find him to be the sexist which has grown through our time together. No one can compare. That's something he can't seem to understand. I wasn't attracted to him at first not the way I am now
 
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