Originally Posted by nice777guy
Bob - interesting ideas. I'm not sure about forgiveness. She would have to stop doing damage before I could truly forgive. Given that our last blow-up over her Myspace page was about 2 weeks ago, I'm not sure that she's truly stopped yet. I've just quit "snooping" and asking questions.
I "could" forgive if I move on and distance myself. But that would be for more selfish reasons.
This is the time for Being Selfish! BE SELFISH. Protect yourself from further abuse. If you can't take exceptionally good care of yourself how are you going to take care of those that are dependent upon you. Make yourself Number 1 in your life.
With six months separation you are delaying your Judgement and it's a Judgement you have to make that will affect the rest of your life.
In six months I can more or less guarantee you that you will Know if she has or hasn't in your words "stopped doing damage".
You cannot change your wife, forget about that stuff. Only your wife can change herself. In six months time you will know if she has or hasn't changed herself. If she has, then you can look at the changes and see if they're acceptable to you or not.