Talk About Marriage - View Single Post - Vacation separately - sign we are in trouble?
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post #1 of (permalink) Old 04-09-2017, 12:34 PM Thread Starter
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Vacation separately - sign we are in trouble?

Hi. So, I need some guidance. I'm trying to understand if I'm overreacting and letting something bother me that I shouldn't.

My wife of six months told me she was going to take a weekend getaway with one of her friends. No biggie as I was going to be in the midwest with my kids for break anyhow (blended marriage).

However, yesterday I found out that she is going to New Orleans with her girlfriend for four days. This came to a rather big surprise to me because we have talked about going to two places since we've been together (3+ years) - Vegas and New Orleans bc she's never been. We ended up getting married in Vegas in the fall so we could cross that off her bucket list. But now it seems like she's going with a friend to New Orleans instead of saving it for us.

We haven't been to New Orleans yet bc she keeps saying that she doesn't have the vacation time. She can't afford to go. And her ex won't take the kids. Yet somehow she was able to overcome all of those obstacles for this trip. She suddenly has money. Was able to take two days off and get her ex to take the kids an extra day or two. In addition, she booked it weeks ago but kept telling me that it was undecided when I asked over the last couple weeks. Then when I found out yesterday she kept saying that she doesn't need my approval or to check with me.

I don't know but I think I'm a good marriage you talk about things at least. Maybe she still ends up going but the way it went down and not telling me when asked bothers me. I turned down one offer from a friend to go to Vegas a year ago bc I wanted to go with her. Am I naive to be the one that cares or talks about things? Or am I just overreacting which I've done before.

It's bothering me. I'm not mad. I'm just really hurt bc I feel like I'm the only one that cares. I couldn't ever imagine talking to her about going somewhere together and then going with someone else. Ever. It basically says I don't want to go with you or be with you. Or no?

Is this the first step to the end? Does this say she doesn't value being around me as much as I do? Am I putting too much or too little into how this all went down and what it means? Do I need to start protecting myself so I don't get hurt shortly down the road? Lots going on in my head.

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