| | Re: Will the lies get worse?
It is a matter of adjustment. Acceptance first of what happened in the past, then adjustment to who we are now and the new circumstances we find ourselves in. The last time I was looking for another woman was over 40 years ago and believe it or not my mind is kind of stuck in those times of long ago. So I’m adjusting to the age I am now plus the new circumstances I find myself in at this age. I know it’s going to take a while for it all to sink in and become a part of who I’ve turned out to be. Just need to discover who that is lol. It’ll take me a while.
Some say that when we’re young and looking to start a family we’re attracted to people who are our opposite, each person making up for what the other doesn’t have in their character and coming together as one type of thing. My wife and I are opposite in so many ways it’s unbelievable. I know the love is still there on both sides but now we don’t have a “family”, our two sons are well grown and living their own lives, the opposite sides of our character no longer have a function. We each tried living for a few years in one another’s “worlds” and it turned out what was good for one of us wasn’t good for another. We simply could not live in peace and harmony with a fulfilling life in the others’ world.
My understanding is that now I need to look for someone who is very much like me, a somewhat frightening thought lol. Someone who shares the same philosophy of life, who enjoys sports, likes the same interests like archaeology, photography that sort of thing. Living with such a person would be very different for me. Then there’s the physical side of things, that’s always been very important to me.
I think I’m going to find such a person simply by doing what I enjoy doing and living a full and healthy life.
It is immensely helpful to know that women still find me “attractive” and does my self-esteem a lot of good. But as yet I’ve a good idea who I am but I’m not all the way there as yet so starting a new relationship at his point in time will I think inhibit somewhat my personal growth. One of the things I’m somewhat afraid of is the emotional entanglement that will surely come with a new relationship. I had a lot of that and no way am I ready to walk back into it.
So I guess I’m very much like you. I’ll get on with my life in the best way I know how and if it happens then all well and good.