Re: I need help with sustaining my marriage
sokillme: I have gone through EMDR sessions. It helped definitely, but there wasn't significant relief. The therapist I was working with at the time said a small number of people don't respond as well to it. Apparently I'm one of the "lucky" ones.
The thought of being in an open space with a group of people being vulnerable gives me anxiety attacks. I have never gone to physical support groups because the 3 times that I have gone I was a mess and drew attention from everyone. My husband has gone to some for spouses on many occasions.
There are online groups for this kind of thing. Maybe someone will give you some techniques to help you. I am SO sorry for you and your husband. Have you contacted specialist dealing with sexual abuse?
Have you tried to do it daily for a prolonged period of time. Maybe not worrying about the outcome? Does your husband get frustrated? Does it effect his ability? Meaning he loses his erection when he sees you are suffering?
There are A-sexual men out there you know, so don't give up all hope.