I agree you have been totally consistent. And you have defined and enforced a good set of boundaries. And you should feel good about that - really good. The guy you were 24 months ago is completely different than the guy you are now.
With that said she still believes in her heart that she can have you back whenever she wants. I am not saying that is true. I am saying it is what she believes. And until THAT changes, you are deadlocked. And I am not suggesting a hard line in the sand. Just a steady relentless move towards legal termination. It may be that AFTER you divorce she comes back to you and says "I really messed up - can I have a second chance". Or it may be that your determination simply causes her to treat you better post divorce - and that is very important as you will interact a lot via the kids.
Suffice to say that despite all your growth, her treatment of you continues to be far far below what you find acceptable. This stance that anything older than 2 weeks is out of bounds reflects a frightening lack of respect. It also raises the question of her very recent behavior.
At this point two things will create an environment without ambiguity. Filing papers and going to limited communication.
Originally Posted by nice777guy
MEM - only thing I would say is that I've been incredibly consistent and repetitious about what I need. She knows what needs to be done - at least in my eyes. No need to send her any more lists.
But - agreeing again - divorce papers may be the only way to truly put some reality back into this situation.