Talk About Marriage - View Single Post - My Husband's Best Friend
View Single Post
post #4 of (permalink) Old 04-18-2017, 09:32 PM
aine
Member
 
aine's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Away and beyond in a hot place
Posts: 2,958
Re: My Husband's Best Friend

Quote:
Originally Posted by sunshinie View Post
My husband has been friends with his best friend (let's call him...Chris) for over twenty five years. They have always been close, my husband's parents call Chris their son and my sister-in-laws call him their brother. So the relationship is very tightly knitted. I met my husband at college but due to me never liking Chris, my husband and I never got together. It was only after Chris migrated that we started dating and eventually getting married. My husband was well aware of my dislike for Chris.

Due to my dislike of Chris my husband rarely brought him around me whenever he visited. But about five years ago I decided that it was time I grew up and make an effort to at least get to know Chris for my husband's sake. My husband was elated.

Chris visited a few times and I made an effort to get to know him, and found that I liked him very much and even became friends with his wife and son. However over the past year and a half or so, Chris has me questioning my sanity on whether or not he coming onto me or not. He has never directly come onto me but he has insinuated as much, even in front of my husband.

For example: Chris and I were waiting for my husband to finish dressing so that they could go out together, and my son, then three years old, yelled at him and said "stop looking at my mother." At the time I was not facing him so I can't say in which way he was looking at me but it unnerved my son enough to yell at him. I was kind of embarrassed by my son's actions, I quieted him down and even apologized to Chris for his behavior.

Another incident occurred when my husband, Chris, my own best friend and I went out to lunch together. And Chris told my friend that he had always loved some distinct physical features of hers, however all of these features were mine and not hers. My best friend later said it was funny how he mixed us up. This was in front of my husband.

The next time he did something similar, this time while we were dining with my husband's family. He said that he had always liked me first, with a long delayed pause, for my husband. And most recently he sent me a picture of himself and my son, and an hour later sent my husband the same picture.

I tried talking to both my husband and my best friend about it and they have both said that it is all in my head. That Chris would never come onto me. But it is driving me crazy, because I feel like he is coming onto me and then again maybe not. However my insistence on this had cause issues in my marriage. I eventually decided to let it go as I only have to deal with Chris on his short visits which does not last more than a week about twice a year.

However, my fears has taken a new course because Chris has convinced my husband to vacation with him and family this summer. We are to stay at his home. I told my husband that I do not want to stay at Chris' house, which is the source of many of our arguments lately. I told him I would rather we stay at a hotel. But my husband says I am trying to embarrass him and hurt his friend's feelings. He keeps insisting that it is all in my head and that his friend who is like his brother would never come onto me.

This situation has left me feeling alone and frustrated. I have no one to talk to, as the two people I share everything with thinks that I am blowing it all out of proportion.

Am I?

You have not clarified why you have always disliked Chris from the beginning?

I doubt very much if a three year old boy would be able to gauge innuendo or wrong type of looks, (that surely is in your head).
Your other examples are not so convincing either.

Is there something from before you are not telling us about connected to your dislike of Chris from way back? Did he assault you, did you fancy him, etc.

There is something very incomplete about your version of events.
aine is online now  
 
 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome