Talk About Marriage - View Single Post - I hate sex but LOVE my husband
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post #1 of (permalink) Old 04-19-2017, 09:22 AM Thread Starter
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Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 13
I hate sex but LOVE my husband

New to this site. I want to share a problem I have, I actually do not understand it at all myself, this has been going on a few years now.
I am happily married, 28 years and we have been together for 32 years. We have 3 grown up children all still living at home and all with great jobs.
I cannot stress enough that I actually love my husband to bits, we have a great marriage. My husband makes me laugh all the time, we thrive on humour. But when it comes to sex, I hate it so much. I try to avoid it as much as I can. My husband can see that I hate it. I just don't get the need for it, I know that is a stupid thing to say.
I'm not sure if it's to do with my self esteem, which is very low. I hate my body with a passion. I had cancer 3 years ago. My husband was by my side the whole time, took over looking after the house, daughter helped where dinner and food was concerned, was just overwhelmed by them. It took me 2 years before I was 100% well. My husband came to me and expressed how scared he was about losing me. But I cannot seem to connect sexually, in the beginning definitely yes.
Why am I like this ?
My husband always tells me he loves me, has a pet name for me that everybody knows and everybody always says we are cute even after 32 years we are still like this.
Please do not say I have fallen out of love, I read other posts over the net where people have suggested this, it's definitely not the case here which really baffles me.
My husband has a high sex drive, mine is zero.
I really thrive on being hugged and cuddled without sex, to me it's a dream where sex is not an option just spooning. I've mentioned on occasions to him that I wish he could just hold me and leave it at that but he says he finds it difficult. I don't understand that, I somehow don't seem to connect sex with love.
The weirdest of all is..... I fantasize about sex with my husband, why is that when in real life I hate it ??? I don't understand it...
Help please

Last edited by RobynF; 04-19-2017 at 09:36 AM.
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