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post #11 of (permalink) Old 04-19-2017, 09:56 AM
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Join Date: Aug 2016
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Re: I hate sex but LOVE my husband

Hi Robyn,

First I am so sorry for what you must have gone through, but am glad to read that you are well. I do hope you stay cancer free.

Mr HB has been battling cancer for a while now and the whole experience along with surgeries and chemo have changed him in many ways.

Did you undergo chemotherapy as part of your treatment? I've read that it can abruptly trigger menopause as a side effect. You did not mention the type of cancer, but if you had to have your female organs removed that can also trigger a more dramatic start t menopause.

Menopause and peri menopause can affect your libido in either direction so you can ask your doctor to check your hormone levels. They can help if that's the problem... although if your cancer was one that feeds on estrogen it will limit some of the treatment options.

It could also be body issues if you are overly concerned about surgery scars or that sort of thing. My SIL has told me she feels little drive since her mastectomy 10+ years ago.

If that's part of the issue just remember that if your H is HD and loves you and wants to make love to you it means that any scars or other changes aren't affecting his attraction to you.

Are you on any regular meds? Many of them can affect libido... especially depression or anxiety meds.

Cancer can wreak havoc on you... body, mind and soul. IC to help you cope with the aftermath is a good idea. If you are able to reclaim your libido, you may also find the life affirming aspects of sex are great.

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