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post #7 of (permalink) Old 04-19-2017, 09:31 PM
Anon Pink
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 10,337
Re: How to Handle Teenagers and Disrespect

It sounds to me like your son was feeling very anxious and not knowing how to communicate that, just as most people and most especially people of the male persuasion, he jumped down your throat instead.

I really like the way you stood up for yourself and insisted he treat you the way you wish to be treated, that was awesome! Honestly, I've seen sooooo many parents, typically mothers though, who allow their teens to speak to them in absolutely disgraceful ways! So well done!

Okay back to late to practice... in the moment your best bet is to do exactly what you did. Later on though, have a chat about what was going on with him at the time and don't let him mumble how he hates to be late. He needs to dig deeper and identify what was making him feel so out of sorts that he thought talking to you that way was okay to do. This chat needs to be calm calm calm. Best to be done when you're driving and he knows you can't see his face but he can't walk away. The car is the BEST place to talk to kids to get them to dig deep and open up.

As far as his, "OMG You're so strict!" goes, you can pat yourself on the back because if a parent of teen isnt hearing that at least once per month, you're doing it wrong. That's a general rule kind of thing, every kid is different and some kids are very content without pushing boundaries.

It's directed at you because of a few reasons and you can decide which one you like best.
1. Your husband doesn't enforce boundaries so your son doesn't push back.
2. Your husband has already smacked your son enough that your son doesn't push around him.
3. Your husband isn't involved enough to be in the position of enforcing boundaries.
4. Your the safe parent with whom he can be his emotional self and that means the nasty emotional self as well as the needy emotional self.
5. Your son does mouth off to his father but his father doesn't react to it so it's not a big deal to either of them.

"Some women are blessed with multi-orgasmic ability for a reason and I'm damn sure not going to waste a blessing" ~FrenchFry

"Vaginas are tricky creatures." ~Lucy999
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