Originally Posted by commonsenseisn't View Post
I read your other thread and in this context I think your panic attacks are nature's way of urging you to part ways with someone who harms you. You'll just keep hurting until you won't.
Maybe. Obviously my body feels like it's under attack. It only happens when I am searching for evidence of some kind. I am terrified I might find something. That is no way to live. Phone records mean so little because there are so many ways to message without a trace. Not sure if it's worth it. I found a suspicious number texting until 11pm while I was at work. Had a mild panick attack and confronted him but he was able to show me the text and it was harmless. All that and I didn't find anything.
I pushed him and pushed him to tell me the details about what the OW told him at their last meeting. I heard part of the conversation that was D day 2. He said she was talking about her break up. He has been avoiding giving details. He doesn't remember. I know she was upset and he was trying to find an excuse to leave. Finally he gave me some details that creeped me out and I start shivering again.
I don't want the panicked attacks to stop yet since they are keeping me from sticking my head in the sand.
I had them before but didn't realize what they were until today. Crazy. They must be pretty mild and they are over before any meds would help. I am not depressed or suicidal. Depression doesn't really start until everything settles down.