Talk About Marriage - View Single Post - Has feelings for a women
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post #6 of (permalink) Old 04-20-2017, 03:38 AM
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 56
Re: Has feelings for a women

Originally Posted by Mr.Doormat View Post
Where to begin. Was told 4 weeks ago that my wife felt we were more like friends and not as a couple. Lacked passion. I was negative and needed to change. Went to a shrink. Started to look at some options for low testosterone. Basically I was the a hole of the relationship. Turns out I am not that messed up. If anything I have been looking at a lot of things in the wrong frame of mind. Small issues were just over analyzed...until today when I find out she has feelings for a women. A women who is a lesbien and works at her school! She said she has feeings for her and is not sure what to do. And she said its not me. Im a great husband, great father, no reason to leave you, treat me like a why are you interested in women? Now I'm a mess, hence Mr.Doormat! What the hell do I do now? My in laws will support her and want to get her some help. I just cant for the life of me figure out A, What went wrong and B. What do I do now. We have a 4 year old son who is in the middle. Any advice would be great. Yes I love her and cant see myself with out her. Have no clue what is next.
Hi @Mr.Doormat

I'm really sorry for what you're having to go through.
My best friend had to go through a similar situation where his wife was sleeping with his business partners wife and it's a really difficult experience to say the least.

The natural tendency here is to try and analyse everything and wonder why and how it all happened and as tempting as it can be, it's important for you to not indulge in that. It's really about moving forward and that starts with picking yourself up and deciding on the standards by which you wish to be treated. Developing your own self worth needs to be the priority - easier said than done I know, but it's about slowly building it, day by day and being patient with the process.

I know lots of people tend to stick around for the sake of kids, but sadly they forget that the child's role model of love is a poor one and that is actually doing them harm in the long run. Keep that in your mind when it comes to deciding on your future.
Quick question - how long have you both been married?

All the best my friend.

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