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post #1 of (permalink) Old 04-21-2017, 04:20 AM Thread Starter
Thestarsarefalling
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Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 85
Ending Limbo?

My H and I have been married for 15 years and it's hard for me to say it was happy. Feels like a series of terrible life events happened that lead me to make excuses. He was in the military, he was training with the militay, he was deployed with the military, our parents died, jobs, school, a baby, his emotional affair 5 years ago and his latest attempt to rekindle it with the same woman. I am not ready to R but having hard time admitting defeat with a divorce. Trouble is that when I am away from my H it's easy to see things are pretty bad but when I talk to H about our situation I usually end up reassuring him and feeling more optimistic things aren't as bad as I thought. Temporarily.

I am trying to take baby steps to separate. It has become apparent that he is very resentful towards me over many years. He indirectly admitted this resentment allows him to feel meeting with the OW behind my back in a non romantic way is ok or is a way to get back at me. That has completely destroyed my trust and I just don't know it can be restored a second time. Then he apologizes and asks me what he can do. His words don't match his behavior. I can start a fight via text and tell him I want him to move out.

Any advice on getting a separation in a nice way since we have to co parent. He will be staying at our home while I work 4 nights a week. Is a full separation worth it if he would only be gone 3 nights a week? Should I give him time to find a place? We seem on friendly terms and have discussed separating before and we do rely on each other for co parenting. We are not financially dependent on each other but it will be hard for both of us to have only one income. The last few years I have really withdrawn from him emotionally and I don't spend much time with him so maybe we could keep the same routine? Is this a reasonable plan?

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