Talk About Marriage - View Single Post - Ending Limbo?
Thread: Ending Limbo?
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post #7 of (permalink) Old 04-21-2017, 11:52 AM Thread Starter
Thestarsarefalling
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Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 85
Quote:
Originally Posted by tropicalbeachiwish View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thestarsarefalling View Post
I talked to one 5 years ago when my H was involved in an EA that he was initially wanted to leave the marriage. After the OW backed off he stayed. I don't think I need legal advice unless I am more committed to divorce. Right now our situation isn't complicated. We have talked about it before but my H had a listening problem so he could always deny every hearing it. He seems willing to do whatever I want right now. The separation might be better if he thought it was his idea. He wants to keep working in the same place the OW works and I let it slide last time but I don't think so this time. He loves his job more than me so if I make him choose then it's over.

Maybe it's so hard because he is so tied into my identity. Losing him feels like cutting off my arm that keeps getting infected.
You need to regain your own identity. I?d recommend that you do the 180 on him. Do you have a spare bedroom that you can move into? It sounds like you?re not real sure what you want to do yet. Which is fine and normal, but that means that you?re just not ready. Removing yourself further from him may help you clarify which direction you want to go.
I just looked up 180. I already live the 180 before this with occasional relapse. I have fallen off the wagon of 180 and have just been trying to figure out what to do now. It feels like something has to change. My H says he is sorry and wants to make things better, which is more than last time. I am not really falling for it. I need to get back on the 180 wagon. Why would I move to another bedroom? He doesn't really sleep in the room with me anyway. Just not sure what the point is of doing the 180 is. My H is great with the rules of 180 and would happily live that way for a long time.
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