Originally Posted by Thestarsarefalling View Post
It's kind of crazy how my thoughts about R or separating swing back and forth. I sent a text message to my H telling him he had to leave his job or we needed to separate. We have had many discussions about the OW and I do believe his story for the most part. He is either lying to me or to himself about his motivations to see OW outside of work. He does not spent time with any other co workers outside of work so why her all of a sudden?
He said he was willing to leave his job but made the future sound so dark and terrible if that happened. Seems like he answered my question. I don't want him to leave his job because he loves it but I don't want to stay married to him if he does.
I get sick at the thought of him working and seeing the OW. My H swears that he doesn't see or talk to her much and the two times they saw each other outside of work was quick and not romantic. I kind of believe most of this story but I think he is still crushing on her at the very least.
It feels bad to think about divorcing him but I get panic attacks thinking about staying with him. Neither option is going to feel good.
You really need to stop deluding yourself about this. You are buying into his bull****. He wants this woman. Period. There is no other motivation. Yes, neither option is pleasant, but at least a divorce is short term distress. If you stay with this man, then you are looking at a lifetime sentence of this same misery, because if it isnt THIS woman, then it will be ANOTHER woman down the line. Then you'll rugsweep it again, and it will be ANOTHER woman. And so on, and so on.
You need to come to terms with the fact that your husband is a cheater.