swedish

Hi Ladyinblue,

I'm sorry to hear what you're going through. I've had the same feelings you describe & enjoyed reading your thoughts on forgiveness and trust. It gave me a very real idea of their value within your marriage and your honest feelings today, which are totally understandable.

I honestly think he never planned on getting caught, liked the excitement of it all, and did not think ahead of the hurt he would cause (I know, Duh!) So, I don't think he's trying to manipulate you...Now that he sees the hurt he caused, he probably is feeling really bad...he got the reality check that what he was doing was far from innocent and he may not have thought that when it was happening.

I understand not wanting to drag this out, but you are right in that dealing with it now is the only way to make your marriage stronger and you can't control how long that will take...it does get easier with time, but setbacks/bad days happen.

In my case, I took it as an invitation to really talk about our relationship, what we both wanted, what we both felt was lacking and make real changes (not just talk) going forward...spending more time together, knowing what he likes and doing special things for him so he knows he's loved and appreciated (he has done the same)

As far as the stomach...for me, I had trouble eating with the anxious stomach but figured out what I could handle (bread, a banana, yogurt) just forcing myself to eat helped some.