nice777guy

Turnera - don't we all want things that we know are bad for us? And yes - I do still want her, and I want my life set back to where it was a year ago.

Spent some good quality time together over the weekend - with and without the kids - and it felt good.

She has agreed to go back to see our therapist Tomorrow night.

IF she started making the proper changes going forward (very, very big IF) - how important is it to deal with the past? She claims to want a "clean slate" - and I totally understand - she just wants to gloss over all the hurt she's caused. She doesn't want to help clean up the mess she's made.

I think its completely unreasonable and very unhealthy - for the marriage and for myself - to just let it all go and try to move forward while acting as if everything is OK.

But I have to admit, it would be tempting to give it a shot - tempting to TRY and ingore the last year like a bad dream - IF she did the right things going forward.

How important are the apologies? What do I gain by asking her questions about what has already happened - whether a week ago or a year ago? Does she need to tell me EVERYTHING - or only go into further detail about the things that I've found or have strong suspicions about?

Just thinking out loud - looking for some input - and some "connection" from people who understand.

Status is somewhere in between Bargaining and Depression right now - leaning heavily towards Depression. Focus and energy at work has improved slightly - but I go home and feel like I've hit a brick wall.

Thanks,

NG