Talk About Marriage - View Single Post - Can men tell me what happened here?
View Single Post
post #3 of (permalink) Old 05-19-2017, 04:49 AM
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 2,068
Re: Can men tell me what happened here?

Originally Posted by Sophie55 View Post
I know women go through this kind of story a lot, but I like to think I am an intelligent woman (35) who runs a company and is a good judge of character (normally!). I get asked out a lot, but am really selective, trying to only choose men who seem compatible and also honest, kind and good people.

I met a man through online dating (41). We both have very busy careers and similar backgrounds / objectives so on paper this was a great match.

We talked for a couple of weeks over text / telephone and then had a brief coffee date to meet, which went very well. He said many, many times how beautiful I was and how much he liked things about me (my confidence, fun nature, sweetness).

We progressed to a second date lunch date, which went very well with the first kiss and hand holding and he seemed very much besotted and I began to warm to him because he seemed very humble, kind and honest.

We progressed to a third date, dinner this time, which went really wonderfully. Lots of kissing and talking and feeling warm and happy.

Throughout this time, I'd say he was very attentive, consistent, kind, gentlemanly and seemed to have a lovely and caring disposition.

The fourth date, which we had last week, was dinner at my place (all I could manage with my schedule that day) and he arrived with flowers and wine and we had a really great evening. We properly talked over that night, revealed a lot about ourselves and out past (he had a horrible marriage and he seemed to be very much still quite upset and angry about it) and I felt over that night we became really emotionally intimate.

We slept together that night, and I think he enjoyed the sex because we did it multiple times, and again multiple times in the morning. He stayed for most of the next day, and we talked a lot more, cuddled, kissed and it felt definitely like the start of a relationship.

Then he left and messaged me shortly afterwards to say he enjoyed the time he spent with me and thought the sex was amazing but he just could not "do" a relationship and he felt I deserved one.

I'm not sure what to think or feel about this, he definitely made out he was growing a relationship with me, so I am confused. if he didn't like me, why did he spend so much time on me, and if the sex was disappointing, why did he keep doing it?

I haven't been with a man for a year, due to being selective and wanting to meet someone right, and that night we had such a wonderful, close and intimate time and it felt very clear he was loving the time he was spending with me from his words and actions so I am very confused about why he suddenly doesn't want to see me again.

I also feel a bit violated! It makes me feel almost ill when I think this person had that intimacy with me (emotionally and physically) and he treated me like I was invisible afterwards.

Why does a man behave like this?
Unfortunately you came into contact with a player and once he slept with you he moved on.The only reason he hung on so long was his age,if he had been fifteen years younger he wouldn't have waited so long for sex.There is not much you can do here other than put it behind you and move on.
At least the sex was good.
Andy1001 is offline  
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome