Re: Can men tell me what happened here?
I'm not so sure I would label the guy as a player, my thoughts were more of an emotionally unavailable man. I don't think a player is going to quit after a night of great sex, he's going to want to keep tapping that until something else comes along.
OP I think it was entirely possible the guy went into it with the right intentions, but when things developed into what could be an actual relationship he freaked out. Dating was easy, no strings and you walk away at any time, but once that emotional connection is made things change, now there's expectations, commitments and obligations, there's the time necessary, the planning, the compromising. It was fun to wine and dine you, but he doesn't want to have to do that all the time, that takes energy he doesn't have or isn't willing to give.
I recognize myself in your post, in my head I keep thinking I want to be in a relationship, but when it comes down to it I'm not willing to give of myself what is needed in a relationship. It took me awhile to recognize this in myself, and I hurt a few women along the way, that's one of the reasons I haven't been on an actual date in three years. I love women and miss a woman's company, but know I will just end up hurting them.
Sophie55 I know my answer doesn't make you feel any better, I know you still feel played, and the guy certainly could have intentionally played you, or he could just be screwed up and is afraid of a good thing.