I recently posted a thread about my wife cheating on me after three days of talking she finally told me why and how, the truth this time.
I used to play mind games with her and would tell her I was seeing other women, this obviously messed her up in combination of the Death of our first born son. Anyway she was working and met a coworker who she had sex with out of revenge I guess and she said he wore a condom. This was after we had sex and I wore no condom and "released inside her". Anyhow she gets pregnant
The guy spots her one day with her baby bump and asks if it's his she told him don't worry about it. He then threatened to to tell me so that is what began the year long affair to keep him silent. After the baby was born he saw her again and asked if she would get a test done saying he wanted to be there.
After she confessed to me I immediately started thinking of my child and my rights as the man who has been raising her, she is only 2 and has only been around him a few times.
Is there any way this man can claim parent rights over me when I was there from her birth to now taking care of her while he has not supported at all, except by sleeping with my wife to keep from telling me about them? He has no job, lives with his mother and it is a drug related inviroment.
We haven't taken the test yet the places around here are closed so I posted here.
As sad as it sounds I don't want a divorce I still want the family I started. She has already agreed to some requirements I was advised to come up with for her to regain my trust and so I can feel comfortable in my marriage again.
She would feel the same way I feel now if I had and A and she sees that everyday since she's told me. I also see where all the fights and arguments this past year have originated from
If your name is on the birth certificate then the kid is yours as far as I know from reading on these boards. You may want to check with an attorney though.
I would not believe the bull**** about her wanting revenge and him threatening her. Most guys who have affairs with women don't want the responsibly of a kid, they just want the sex. Your wife is not a very good person to say it nicely. You have absolutely no idea what she is capable of, what she has done to you is probably one of the worst things any human being can do to another, don't take responsibility for her treating you like crap. You wife is not to believed in anything.
You used to tell her you were seeing other women? Now, I understand why you blame yourself for the problems in your marriage. No, her affair wasn't right, but please add some major context because you don't look to good either. Now, Paternity fraud is worse than cheating to me, but mental abuse is right there and it is what you did by constantly attacking your wife's self worth.
Oh and you realize what she said is akin to sexual assault charges right? Yes, look it up. Extortion for sex is a punishable offense in some states. So, now that it is out in the open, the first thing you do is suggest she talks to the cops. I say this for two reasons:
1) He needs to be punished because he may have done this to other women.
2) We have a few threads where women have made similar accusations and have backed off when pushed to file actual charges against their AP.
You used to tell her you were seeing other women? Now, I understand why you blame yourself for the problems in your marriage. No, her affair wasn't right, but please add some major context because you don't look to good either. Now, Paternity fraud is worse than cheating to me, but mental abuse is right there and it is what you did by constantly attacking your wife's self worth.
Yes this is true and I know that now it had completely slipped my mind these past couple of days that I used to do that, as soon as she told me why I started taking full responsibility of what is going on
If he has the money to hire a lawyer and can convince a presiding judge with any substantiating evidence to the fact, then it's a real possibility! And in such a hearing, it can get awfully ugly in there!
In any event, you ought to bottom line her and just "cash her check" and file for divorce!
In most states, a woman’s husband is considered the legal father to any children born and/or conceived during their marriage. My understanding is that this guy would have no legal standing to try to get legally recognized as the father of this child since you are married to the mother of the child.
If you want to know if you are the actual biological father of the child, you can get a DNA paternity test at any drug store. They are not very expensive. Get the test run and find out.
And why is this creep around your child at all?
Now about you. You actually used to tell you wife that you were cheating? Well I guess she believed you. About 50% of all betrayed spouses end up having what are called revenge affairs.
After you telling her that, how can you even prove to her that you did not cheat?
Are you considering reconciliation with your wife?
In most states, a woman?s husband is considered the legal father to any children born and/or conceived during their marriage. My understanding is that this guy would have no legal standing to try to get legally recognized as the father of this child since you are married to the mother of the child.
If you want to know if you are the actual biological father of the child, you can get a DNA paternity test at any drug store. They are not very expensive. Get the test run and find out.
And why is this creep around your child at all?
Now about you. You actually used to tell you wife that you were cheating? Well I guess she believed you. About 50% of all betrayed spouses end up having what are called revenge affairs.
After you telling her that, how can you even prove to her that you did not cheat?
Are you considering reconciliation with your wife?
I recently posted a thread about my wife cheating on me after three days of talking she finally told me why and how, the truth this time.
I used to play mind games with her and would tell her I was seeing other women, this obviously messed her up in combination of the Death of our first born son. Anyway she was working and met a coworker who she had sex with out of revenge I guess and she said he wore a condom. This was after we had sex and I wore no condom and "released inside her". Anyhow she gets pregnant
The guy spots her one day with her baby bump and asks if it's his she told him don't worry about it. He then threatened to to tell me so that is what began the year long affair to keep him silent. After the baby was born he saw her again and asked if she would get a test done saying he wanted to be there.
After she confessed to me I immediately started thinking of my child and my rights as the man who has been raising her, she is only 2 and has only been around him a few times.
Is there any way this man can claim parent rights over me when I was there from her birth to now taking care of her while he has not supported at all, except by sleeping with my wife to keep from telling me about them? He has no job, lives with his mother and it is a drug related inviroment.
If he has the money to hire a lawyer and can convince a presiding judge with any substantiating evidence to the fact, then it's a real possibility! And in such a hearing, it can get awfully ugly in there!
In any event, you ought to bottom line her and just "cash her check" and file for divorce!
So, are you letting her read this thread as you respond? I mean she sure is giving you some instant responses and you are coming back pretty dang quick.
Don't worry, many people will show up and push you to reconcile. Take the time to make sure whichever decision you choose to make is right for you.
A lot of people here are going to push you to divorce your wife. You need to decide for yourself what you want to do with your marriage. About 75% of marriage recover from infidelity and go on the do just fine.
Here are some books that can really help you and your wife recover your marriage if that is the route you want to go.
If you look in my signature block below there are links to two more books that will help you and your wife restructure your marriage into a much healthier marriage:
Love Busters
His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage
A lot of people here are going to push you to divorce your wife. You need to decide for yourself what you want to do with your marriage. About 75% of marriage recover from infidelity and go on the do just fine.
This is reference for the people who might be put off because sokillme and myself are suggesting she is lying about being blackmailed for sex.
First TRUTH.
My wife would take a friend and her mother to work and home from work just to be nice. Recently I found a drivers license in our car and questioned her about it. She said "the mother was paying her sons driving ticket", okay I believed that and thought nothing of it.
Then we got into an argument on Mothers Day because I refused to get her anything since I don't do holidays and the license came up again. Then while she was in the shower I got sense she was hiding something and went in her phone. The same dude on the license text her with "wyd?". I checked the msg then put the phone back, she came out the shower and went in her phone. I check it again she deleted it but I took screenshots of it.
Turns out she deliberately went through my phone to block the guy from Facebook because she was ****ing him several times. This is all what she admitted. Said they stated having sex after he listened to her one night (something I admit I don't do a lot of) but it was about our marital problems, which in my eyes gave him ammo for the kill. After the first time all he had to do to have sex with her was ask and they did.
I have had her here in our crying all day while she sees me suffering with this begging me to stay and that she won't do it again. I don't want to end my marriage but this **** really hurts. I need advice plz we have two lol girls and I don't want them living through a divorce.
I recently posted a thread about my wife cheating on me after three days of talking she finally told me why and how, the truth this time.
I used to play mind games with her and would tell her I was seeing other women, this obviously messed her up in combination of the Death of our first born son. Anyway she was working and met a coworker who she had sex with out of revenge I guess and she said he wore a condom. This was after we had sex and I wore no condom and "released inside her". Anyhow she gets pregnant
The guy spots her one day with her baby bump and asks if it's his she told him don't worry about it. He then threatened to to tell me so that is what began the year long affair to keep him silent. After the baby was born he saw her again and asked if she would get a test done saying he wanted to be there.
After she confessed to me I immediately started thinking of my child and my rights as the man who has been raising her, she is only 2 and has only been around him a few times.
Is there any way this man can claim parent rights over me when I was there from her birth to now taking care of her while he has not supported at all, except by sleeping with my wife to keep from telling me about them? He has no job, lives with his mother and it is a drug related inviroment.
Okay The mother has 4 kids including the guy my wife was sleeping with, 3 boys 1 girl, the sister and mother needed rides home from work and sometimes to work. On days they were off my wife would take my two kids over to their house to play because they have a big yard and he was always home because again, jobless
The first time they ever had sex was after we had unprotected sex, after that she became pregnant. He spotted her one day near the end of her pregnancy and assumed it was his. She had the baby and the guy msg her without me knowing that he wanted to get tested as the father. She denied it but he threatened to expose their affair and the baby possibly being his to me. So they had sex until recently and he kept quiet. He still did it give her any support for the child as she says and has not confronted me now going on Day 3 since I found out.
Why would you believe any of this. It's much more plausible she had a run of the mill affair, got pregnant and decided to have his baby and only fessed up because she got caught. Now she is making up this whole blackmail story because the truth is to monstrous. She had already emotionally detached from you because she thought you cheated (for some strange reason you lied about that or you are lying about not cheating here because she is reading it). Now that she is caught she is panicked. It's also probably harder for her to justify the destruction you caused when she sees the results. Plus the other dude isn't going to support her or the kid because he lives with his mom.
Just because she is crying and saying she is sorry doesn't mean she loves you though or she is a good choice to stay with. Look at her actions not her words, frankly her actions say she hates you, most wouldn't do this to their worst enemy. Though maybe you cheated too so there is that, maybe she thinks of you as her worst enemy. Either way your relationship is a mess. Maybe you can salvage it but it's now an ocean under the bridge. I am not even sure why you would want to. There are a lot of women out there like 99% who wouldn't deceive a man into raising the kid of a man she is ****ing on the side. I mean it makes some evolutionary sense when the guy whose kid you have can't even support himself. Like the kid needs food and shelter and you can help her do what he is too much of a loser to do, but I can't think of much lower more selfish thing to do to another person. Seems like a waste to give so much devotion to someone who could do you so wrong. Your life though.
Besides all that you have no idea what really happened but I bet I am closer to the truth then she is. Why would you believe anything from a person who would commit paternity fraud anyway? While she is sitting there ask her how long she was prepared to allow you to raise another mans baby. I think I told you on the last thread, cheaters lie, and then they lie again, it's in their nature. And here we are with her still lying to you.
Well, you better get a lawyer ASAP. Laws are funky when it comes to paternity fraud, they favor women, you better get a DNA test ASAP after you talk to a lawyer.
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